An Iowa Mom

Good at What?

Last week I left a comment over on Kerrie's blog, when she shared a story with us about her children discussing their behavior that day.

I think it's obvious that I blog mostly about my children and Big Daddy.  And occasionally I'll throw something in about me.  However, I do get to pick and choose what I want to share about myself.  The others, well, they are strictly at my mercy and one of these days I'm going to be shocked when a delivery boy shows up at my door and hands me divorce papers.  Or more likely, when Jake grows up, turns 18, and sues me, his own mother, for slander.

Anyway, I feel that if I didn't blog, I'd forget all the little, silly (and sometimes very annoying and not-so-silly) things my children do.  And I don't ever want to forget.  They grow up so darned fast and one day I want to be able to look back and smile.  And I want to think that the one thing that finally threw me over the edge and into the loony bin is funny and sweet 15 years later.  That hasn't happened yet.  But boy, when it does, you can bet I'll blog about it.

So, after I left the comment over at Kerrie's, I wanted to post it here too, because it was one of those not so cute things that Molly said, that I'm sure I'll giggle about at her high school graduation.  Or when she is released from juvie.  Either or ... does it really matter?

On Friday mornings the girls go over to a friends house.  We do a swap where on Monday I take her son and on Friday she takes my girls.  It's a free outing to regain our sanity, therefore, giving us more time before being thrown into the loony bin.  Ya know, the one I mentioned earlier. 

When I picked the girls up last Friday, the following conversation took place in the car on the way home:

Me:  Girls, were you behaved today?

Emily:  Yup.  I sure was.

Molly (with the biggest of smiles):  Not me.  I was naughty.  Really naughty.  I was very good at being naughty.

This Fit Or That Fit ...

I was happily making banana muffins the other day, because ya know, I'm all domestic like that ...

Can't you picture me?  My hair and make up perfectly done.  Dress ironed.  Apron fitting just right.  Children dutifully fetching every ingredient I need, without incident. 

Yeah ... me neither.

Strategically timing the mixing of the flour, sugar and bananas, I had Emily and Molly eating their lunch.  Peacefully.  I'm serious.  When the last bite had been taken, Emily asked me for a granola bar.  I asked her to wait for just a minute, as my hands were dirty and I was in the process of mixing the batter for the muffins.

To make a long story short ... Emily threw a tantrum because she had to wait.  Actually more than a tantrum ... a full fledged conniption fit, face down on the floor, throwing her fists into the carpet and her mouth wide open yelling all sorts of things resembling, "Mommy you are the meanest Mommy ever ..."  yadda yadda yadda, ya know, the norm ... therefore, losing any chance at obtaining a granola bar.

Fast forward about 45 minutes.  The smell of banana muffins filled the kitchen and little tummies were hungry again.  After all, it had been 45 minutes ... like I said.

The following conversation took place:

Emily:  Mom, can I have a banana muffin?
Me:  After the fit you just threw?

Emily:  That fit was about the granola bar, THIS fit is going to be about a banana muffin?

Thanks for the fair warning.  I'll brace myself.

My Bloggy Giveaway

UPDATE:  The winner of the giveaway has been chosen.

Drum Roll? 

ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba

WHITNEY!!

Whitney does not have a blog, so I have contacted her by email.  If she does not respond to me by 5pm tomorrow (Saturday), I will have the kids choose another winner.

Wow!  1548 entries.  Thanks for a great response!  Guess it wasn't so boring afterall, huh?  I hope you will all come and visit again.  And again.  And again.

==================================================

I'm boring.  Let's say it all together ... BBBBOOOORRRRIIINNGGG!

I had big plans for this giveaway.  There were so many things I had planned to make and share with all of you. 

However, even though I had big plans ... I also had four kids.  And frankly, that is the reason why my giveaway is so:

In unison now:  B-O-R-I-N-G!

But let's look on the bright side ... I'll have another giveaway really soon, really really soon, with more unique prizes.  So, be sure to check back!  You can easily subscribe to my blog using the form or button right over there.  OVER THERE  ----->  See it?

On to more important things  ...  I am indeed participating in the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival, I am giving away YOUR CHOICE of:

$25 gift card to Target
(who in the world COULDN'T use one of these) OR

$25 Gift Card To Barnes & Noble
(I know a lot of you have reading as a part of your New Year's resolution)

All you have to do to win is leave me a comment on this post.  I will choose a winner on Friday, Feb. 1st at 5pm CST.  Winner will be chosen by my favorite child ... that day.  Sorry, I won't know who that is, until Friday ... at 5pm.  But I promise, it will be one of mine.  Maybe.

Good Luck.

I know you are making your rounds through all the giveaways, but when you get a chance, stop back in here at An Iowa Mom, I'd love to have you visit, anytime.

My Life ... My Daily Words!

A friend of mine sent this to me tonight, and I LOVE IT!  To all you Moms out there ... okay, and Dads.

Enjoy.  Come on.  It will only take 3 minutes. 

3 minutes for a smile. 

SO WORTH IT!

What Is Wrong With My Children?

When I was a child, way back when ... a snow day was like a rare jewel that should be appreciated and cherished.  Mind you, I grew up in Syracuse, New York, where getting 2 feet of snow overnight was nothing to bat an eyelash at.

Then, you've got my children. 

And yesterday. 

Big Daddy and I woke up early and watched the school delays scroll across the bottom of the TV screen nestled snuggly into the armoir (how do you spell that anyway) in our bedroom.  I'll be honest, I found it a little odd that our district wouldn't even delay classes when the temperature read -23, with a wind chill of -34.  If they gave it a couple hours to warm up a bit, the kids would be safer standing out at the bus stop waiting for their ride to school.  Right?

Guess not.

Everyone up.

Everyone get dressed.

Everyone eat your breakfast.

Everyone brush your teeth.

Grab the phone that's ringing.

SCHOOL IS CANCELED!!  The buses won't run? 

I flashed back to my own childhood and how this would have been a day to remember for all time.  The best surprise one could give a kid.  The anticipation of school ... diminished ... with a phone call.  Just like that.  AWESOME!

Or so you'd think ...

Jake (stomping up the stairs):  Oh that's just great.  I got up and dressed FOR NOTHING?

Drew (bottom lip quivering):  Oh man, I was supposed to take my CLIMB test today!

Emily (full fledged wail):  You said I was going to school.  I want to go to school.  It's no fair.

That was the reaction of my kiddos.  No WHOO HOOO's.  No high fives.  No excited giggles.

I'm stunned.

I have nothing to say. 

I'm speechless.

For once.

I Would Expect NOTHING Less ...

Though he's only commented a few times, Big Daddy reads most of the posts I publish on my blog.  This is normally not an issue, though it does put a kink in things when I want to write about my boyfriend.  But I don't see him very often anymore, so for the most part ... no problem.

KIDDING!

Anyway, when he visited yesterday, he noticed the new look of the blog ... ya know, with the chick lounging on the couch with her laptop ... probably ignoring her kids ... and watching the Dr. Phil Show ... and then Oprah ...

Oh wait ... and eating bon bon's.

That's right.

Big Daddy Says To Me:

"Wow, that looks just like you.  NICE RACK!"

Uuuummmm, yeeeeah. 

Why do those words not surprise me?

I personally thought NICE BUTT ... but, who am I and what do I know?

A Backwards Resolution

Jake has always struggled when dealing with his size.  He's a small kid.  A really small kid.  Put it this way ... he's in 4th grade and wears a size 7 SLIM. 

Sports have always been a huge part of Jake's life.  Since he could walk.  Whether it be participating in sports, watching sports, playing sports video games, reading sports books ... his life has always revolved around ... sports!

Well, as you may assume, he is being passed in by his peers, in both size and ability, like a car stalled on The Autobon.  And it is crushing him ... and his self esteem.  I mean, come on, it's not uncommon for some of his friends to weigh 85-90 pounds.  He weighs 50. 

Or he did until the New Year rolled around.

We were celebrating the beginning of 2008 at a friends house.  This friend has a cousin who pitched for the Kansas City Royals ... and he happened to be at the party.  Like a gift from above, it just so happened this "celebrity" (in Jake's eyes) used to be a small kid as well.  And he was more than happy to offer up a bit of advice ...

"Eat a peanut butter sandwich every single night right before you go to bed."

Jake took this advice very seriously, as it must work ... this dude went on to play major league baseball.

So, every evening, just before teeth are to be brushed and lights are to be shut off, we make Jake a sandwich loaded with peanut butter and jelly.  Some nights we surprise him with a huge ice cream sundae instead.

Believe it or not, Jake weighed in yesterday at 54 pounds.  4 pounds in 3 weeks.  He feels like a "big man" now.

I'll keep you updated on his progress.

According To Molly

Yesterday Molly casually walked up to me out of nowhere and lovingly said ...

"Mommy?"

"Yeah"

"Mommy, you're not a poopie diaper baby with bugs on your head!"

Whew!  I'm so glad she reassured me of that. 

I was beginning to wonder.

2nd Grade Heartbreak

One day last week Drew got off the bus and moped up the sidewalk towards home at a snails pace.  I dreaded his entry as I was expecting the words that would come out of his mouth to be something like, "I got kicked off the bus again."  Or maybe, "I got sent to the office at school."  Ya know, the norm.

But, instead of those phrases escaping his lips, he trudged in with tears filling his eyes and his bottom lip quivering.  Several times I had to ask what had made him so upset, but he wasn't quite ready to tell me.

Finally, after at least 5 minutes and constant badgering ... he yelled, "[Friend Who Happens To Be A Girl] cheated on me.  She kissed [another child].  Not just on the cheek either.  On the LIPS!  She cheated.  I will never be her boyfriend again.  EVER!"

And being the great, compassionate mother that I am ...

I grabbed my camera.

What?  It was his first broken heart. 

That HAD to be documented. 

Don't worry, after I snapped the photos I hugged him and told him all girls are bitches and to get used to the feeling he was feeling right at that moment ... he'd be feeling it A LOT!

JUST KIDDING.  Geez, how bad of a mother do you think I am?

A Little Linky Love For Valentine's Day

Just wanted to let you know that I will be participating in the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival being held next week.  Be sure to check back and enter to win.  Okay?  I'll be offering a collection of handmade items.  All handmade by me.  I know you are just thrilled, aren't you?  AREN'T YOU?

That's what I thought.  :)

I know it's hard to wait, so to hold you over until then ... here is a little somethin' somethin' for ya ...

Iowa Geek is doing it again.  She's giving away a fabulous array of scrapbooking items for anyone who wants to go enter to win them.  And if you do head over to her blog, please please please let her know that An Iowa Mom sent you.  She really knows how to put together a giveaway and I wish you all good luck in winning.  But, in order to win, you have to enter ... so go!

Randy ...

Wake up Randy!

What movie?

Beauty or The Beast?

I did not want to post this video.  I really really didn't.  It's not quite the content I had envisioned for my blog.

Not that any of my content is ... but this definitely isn't.

Emily asked this question and when I didn't know the answer, she said, "Ask your blog."

Wow!  When I was four, there were no blogs.  And even if there were, I can pretty much bet that I wouldn't know what one was ... And even if I did ... I would not be asking a question on it.

Anyway ... obviously times have changed ...

If you couldn't understand her, she asked, "Does my hair look like Belle's when I'm dancin'?"

I don't know ... ahem ...  <cough>NOTACHANCEINHELL </cough> ... what do you think?

Is My Head Swelling?

A couple of months ago Jake, who is in the fourth grade, took a field trip to a Cedar Rapids Symphony Orchestra Youth Concert.  He was very excited about it, as he has always had a love for music.  Any kind of music.  Heavy Metal being his favorite ... oh dear Lord help me ... but classical music is something he listens to every night while drifting off to sleep and this field trip was eagerly anticipated.

Fast forward a couple of days and the following sheet comes home in his backpack.  No need to read the unimportant stuff.  Go right to #4.  You might have to click on the photo to enlarge it.

Go ahead.  I'll wait.

Oh yea!  Oh yea!  Who's your mama?  Who's your mama?  Finally some acknowledgment for all my yelling, screaming, grounding, fit throwing, badgering ways.   FINALLY!

And I didn't think he noticed. 

A mother is to just assume he was ignoring me and I was getting nowhere with him.  Guess not!  Shows you how much I know.

Now we just need to work on his handwriting.

Get The Most Bang For Your Buck

My friend over here is always talking crap about money and how you should save it, budget it, not buy needless things ... yadda yadda yadda ... and more yadda.  Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore, so rather than removing her from my blogroll and deleting her from my Google Reader, I jumped on her bandwagon.  It was just easier that way.

So we joined Dave Ramsey.  Started watching what we spend.  Paid off the credit card.  Paid off the Suburban.  You know ... the things people just don't do these days.  Call us weird ... we like it.  If you make fun of us ... we'll like it even better.  It means we're on the right track.

Anyway, I'm not a crazy person about it.  I still feed the kids the expensive sugar cereal for dinner.  I still launder the kids clothes after they've worn them a few times.  They are more than welcome to use a square of toilet paper when they use the restroom ... if they feel so inclined.  I  give them toothpaste ever other day to brush their teeth with.  I even allow the occasional bath ... with soap.   Because I wouldn't want to deprive them of anything.  I am a mother for crying out loud.

However, I now look to get the most bang for my buck.  Because of that, I was really interested in this contest Green3 is holding over at her place. 

You should head on over and enter to win a copy of The Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift as a Viable Alternative Lifestyle (Paperback). 

Hello!  That is were she got the idea of cutting dryer sheets in half.  You can save a fortune with that tip alone.  Right?

Remember this though ... you certainly shouldn't buy this book.  That would defeat the purpose.  So you must win a copy.  And the only place I know where you can do that ... is here.

Now git.

Standing Date

What would one expect for their very first wedding anniversary?  A romantic dinner out?  A bouquet of beautiful red roses?  A Domino's Pizza?

No?  No pizza?  Oh shoot, I guess Big Daddy and I got it all wrong then.  Darn.

January 16, 1999 we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.  We couldn't afford a baby-sitter for Jake.   A fancy meal out, followed by a romantic comedy at the theaters was totally out of the question.  So, we opted for a Domino's Pizza by candlelight.  And it was perfect.  We used the good china and poured our cheap beer into expensive glasses.  I couldn't have asked for anything more.  Well, I could have.  But I didn't.  (You're welcome, Big Daddy).

Yesterday, January 16, 2008 we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  We COULD afford a baby-sitter for Jake and even the other 3 kids too.  An elegant dinner out, followed by a show could have been easily achieved ... but again, we opted for the pizza by candlelight.  And it was perfect.  As always ... just as it's been for every year since the first.

The anniversary that Big Daddy and I celebrate each year is such an exciting and anticipated event for all the children ... and us.   From year to year, we don't change anything ... except adding another chair to the table and the pizza from Domino's to Casey's.  The children become giddy ... and I wouldn't want to ever even so much as dream of spending the evening in any way rather than the way we've been doing it for 10 years.

Don't mind a shirtless Molly.  I guess she got too hot in her sundress.  After all it is 10 degrees outside.

This particular evening we informed the children that we would ALWAYS spend January 16th together eating pizza by candlelight.  The oldest two in turn informed us that when they are married and have children of their own, they'd have to bring them along.

Fine with me.  As long as they bring the pizza and cheap beer too.

I Can't Even Believe It Myself

I just committed an unthinkable act.  Totally selfish and uncaring.  It actually hurt as I did it.  It's something I've never done before and I hope I never have to do again ...

I hit the "MARK ALL READ" button in my Google Reader.  I said goodbye to 454 posts that have been written and delivered to me ... and I didn't read. 

There. 

I said it.

Now I hope you can forgive me and we can all move on.

And I trust none of us will ever speak of this again.

Elementary Politics

As Big Daddy and I were watching the Michigan primary results last night, the following conversation took place:

Jake:  I think I would vote for Obama.

Me: Why?

Jake: I dunno.

Me: You should always be an informed voter.  If you are supporting a particular candidate, you should know the things they stand for that appeal to you.

Jake:  He looks like a nice guy.  He seems to be caring and kind.

Drew:  JAAAKKE, he is probably just faking.  He is acting that way to win.  Once he becomes president he will probably bring back slavery or something.

Could It Be True?

You've got to be kidding me?  Has it really been 6 days since I've blogged?  And 5 days before that?

What the hell?  Has my life gotten in the way of my blogging?  I'll have to have a serious talk with myself.  This just will not do.  Nope.  Not gonna happen again. 

It can't. 

I mean ... how could I ever expect you all to live without me?

I know.  The thought is almost incomprehensible.  Isn't it? 

Hey you!  The one over there shaking your head as you're laughing at your computer screen.  You don't fool me.  I know you missed me.  I'll let you pretend you didn't though.

What? 

You didn't even realize I was gone?  Are you serious?

Ahem!  Well, won't you just excuse me while I get over myself?

Just in case you're the one lone person who was wondering where I was .... I'm back.  So you won't have to miss me anymore.

Iowa Parenting Blogs

I'm compiling a list of great parenting (ie. Mom/Dad) blogs from Iowa.  If you are one or know of any I should include on my list, please leave a comment or email me and let me know.  I would love for this to be a complete list, so any help you can give, would be GREATLY appreciated.

You can find the list here.

Thanks everyone!

BTW - I'm still around and will resume posting in a couple of days.  I'm trying to concentrate on all the little projects I have floating around that would feel so good to complete. 

I've Got Three More Who Actually Love Me

Yesterday was one of those days where I just didn't feel quite right.  Nothing tasted good.  A good 3 hour nap sounded like a little slice of heaven.  Not one daily chore actually got accomplished. 

Just one of those days.

In the midst of my laziness, Emily curled up next to me.  Her little fingers reached up towards the corners of my eyes ...

"Mommy.  Your eyes look like they are cracking!"

And they weren't blood shot, so that would only leave one other explanation. 

An explanation that I will not spell out for you ... because I can't bear to type it.  I'll leave it up to you to figure out.

Okay, if you'll excuse me now ... I'm off to go purchase some eye cream. 

Have a great weekend.

The Spongebob Smile

I don't have many pictures of Jake.  I don't know why ... maybe it's because he is usually hibrinating in the basement in front of a video game, rather than hanging out with his ultra cool parents.  Yeah, that would be me and Big Daddy, just in case you were wondering.

Well, the other night, he was chowing down on some leftover pizza and I thought there wasn't any better time to snap a photo.  After the flash blinded him, he nodded as though he was the most awesome 9 year old on the planet and he said, "That was my signature smile."

Drew, who happened to be sitting next to him, laughed, "Is it called the Spongebob smile?   Because, ya know, Spongebob has buck teeth too!"

I don't want to tell you what happened next, but you can be assured, it wasn't pretty!

Not Quite

We were at a neighborhood gathering, ringing in the New Year, and right smack dab in the middle of a hot game of Catch Phrase, we lost Molly.

I love pictures/videos like this ... so I thought I'd share.

Happy New Year!

Well, I made it through another year.  That is a miracle in and of itself.  Most days I feel like the kids, Big Daddy, and don't forget the cat and dog, are going to be the death of me.

But here I am. 

Still alive and kickin' in 2008.

Just like other years, I have a kazillion resolutions spinning around in my head.  Unlike all those years, this year I'm going to actually stick to a select few.

Really.

I am.

The ones about spending more time with the children ... not feeding them cereal for dinner ... not letting them watch Dora the Explorer five times a day ... yeah, those will be all shot to hell by mid-February.  I'm not going to fool myself, so I won't try and fool you either.

However, I've got a couple that I fully intend to stick to. 

One is brand new.  Never had it before.  It's to exercise and get in shape.  My stomach has more ripples than a small pond on a windy day.

Second one is to work really hard to develop and expand the websites that I run.  That is going to be my main priority this year.

Third is to finish all the projects I've started and didn't complete.  I have an entire bin full of them, and by the end of the year I'm hoping to have that bin EMPTY!

It's that simple.  Those are my goals for the year.

What are yours?