Our Tooth Fairy Is Fired!
The tooth fairy assigned to our house STINKS. She's awful. Very unreliable. Subpar, to say the least.
It's a shame, really. A true and utter disgrace.
Drew has left his tooth under his pillow TWO nights in a row, and she never came by to pay us a visit. What a rip off. Poor kid.
This will not be tolerated any longer. I demand our tooth fairy be fired. And new fairy be appointed to my kids.
Effective immediately.
Dear Iowa Mom,
Due to rising costs in transportation (specifically, sugar-gas and wing maintenance worker union fees), and the loss of many quality jobs (such as tooth loss cataloguing) to offshore competitors, our Dental Recovery and Exchange Service(tm) has been significantly delayed in recent weeks. We are, at the moment, working on deploying a new CRM system to better relate to our client base and bring our scheduling of visits up to speed, but it will be a few nights before we are once again caught up and in full force.
An appropriate CTP (Certified Tooth Pixie) will be deployed to your residence at our earliest convenience to retrieve your son's lost chomper and replace it with the current federally mandated dental rate in coins.
Sincerely yours,
Flittery Goldenwing
Customer Service Representative
Tooth Fairies Consolidated, International
Posted by: The Tooth Fairy | March 31, 2008 at 12:22 PM
Clearly we have the same Tooth Fairy. My 10 year old lost a tooth on the Friday morning before Easter and his tooth was still under his pillow the following morning. Finally, Easter morning presented him with some cold, hard cash under his pillow. We think it was the Easter Bunny picking up the Tooth Fairy's slack.
Posted by: KendalsWife | March 31, 2008 at 12:24 PM
LOL!!
Just make up a note about labor negotiations, the strike finally coming to an end, and after a few days of picketing, the tooth fairy has finally returned to work for a better wage. Sprinkle a little glitter on there for fairy dust, and you're good to go.
Posted by: Becky (FrumpMama) | March 31, 2008 at 12:33 PM
LOL we fired ours years ago..now she leaves gifts downstairs, the fairy has bad knee's...
Ps I found a great site for lost socks..way cool and cute
www.littlemissmatched.com
Posted by: Lisa | March 31, 2008 at 12:43 PM
We have that same lame tooth fairy at our house too....very forgetful!!!
Posted by: Sally | March 31, 2008 at 11:07 PM