The only one who wakes up all pissy because the Internet won't work? The only one who cusses under her breath at the co-op phone company for not having their act together? The only one having hot flashes because she can't get to those ... three emails waiting for her, right there behind that little screen?
Whew. I didn't think I was, but I had to check and be sure.
But still, I'm wondering when you don't have Internet, do you load up the kids and go shopping? Do you bravely enter Walgreen's with all in tow, to collect your next batch of happy pills? Maybe break down and go into Wal-mart to buy many, many, many things you don't really need and then feel guilty because you could have bought things for the people IN NEED. So you turn your tribe around and go back in to do that? Do you have a hot flash wondering what your own Big Daddy will say when you hand over all the receipts to be deducted from the checkbook?
Wow, we have more in common than I thought.
So then tell me, do you swear at yourself for taking this little trip as you lug all the stuff in without any help? Do you make a mental note that your kids are ungrateful brats as they scatter off in different directions while you're struggling, and that you need to knock some sense into them ... just as soon as you get this beer in the fridge so it doesn't get warm? Do you care that you sent the neighbor kid home because you didn't feel like watching kids swim right now? Do you wonder if your youngest is asleep on the couch at 2pm because of that Bennedryl you gave her for the runny nose that you had no tissues to wipe while you were at Wal-mart? Do you question why in the world you went to Wal-mart rather than Target anyway?
Geez, we should really get together.
We could talk about how we gave our kids PB&J every single day for lunch since summer vacation started, and somehow forget to buy more while we were buying everything else at the stinkin' store. And how we want to kill those cute little baby birds that live in the nest, resting under the deck and chirp ALL DAY LONG starting at 5AM. Or how we wonder which is worse, losing electricity because of the floods and being without the Internet, or staring outside at a perfectly sunny day and wonder why in the hell you have no Internet.
Or ... maybe wonder why it took seven hours, a trip to two stores, a lot of yelling and screaming, and a beer in the early afternoon to make you go downstairs into your office to find that one of the kids must have snuck in and flipped the switch to the wireless router resting perfectly on top of your CPU, snuggled way in the back under a table, so that your children weren't drawn to the blinking lights.
Yeah ... I bet you wouldn't do that either. You'd be smart enough to lock the door to your office if you lived with my hellions, wouldn't you?

