Even I Didn't Know Kids Could Be THAT Mean

Today is "picture day" at our schools. 

Do you remember that when you were a kid? 

If you were a girl, you welcomed the event with open arms, happy to be given the opportunity to dress up in new clothes and spend more than an hour on your hair and makeup ... for an actual reason.

If you were a boy, you dreaded this day, trying to dodge your mother as she flung clothing at you.  Usually a shirt that made you squirm and wiggle as you tried to keep the sucker tucked in.  All the while your neck itched uncontrollably from the perfectly starched collar.  A comb actually made it's way through your hair, for the first time since ... last picture day.  Followed by spit on the hand of your mom as she tried to flatten those few strands that wouldn't stay put.

Anyway, that day is today for Jake, Drew and Emily.  I will leave out the details of our morning ... as you can probably create a mental picture for yourself judging from your own past experiences.

So, rolling up into the fire lane to let the boys out at their school, I headed to Emily's building just up the way.  Miss Thing could barely contain her excitement as her class immediately lined up to make their way to the cafeteria to show off their dresses and smiles.

Molly and I headed out, while a ton of elementary kids made their way through the halls and toward their classrooms.  One group of three kids stood out to me as I waited for our turn to venture down the stairs.  I overheard their conversation ...

One boy turned to another who was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans with a small hole in the knee. "Are THOSE your BEST clothes?" he snarled, actually showing some teeth.

The quiet boy, with the t-shirt nodded, even somewhat looking pleased with his attire.

Mr. Asshole then started laughing, "Then, you need to tell your parents to get a better job!"

Crushed doesn't even describe the emotion that crept over the sweet boy's face.  My heart immediately began to ache, as I was pushed gently from behind from a leader in a line of 25 more kids that were heading down to show their pearly whites.  A reminder that I had to keep walking as it was our turn to descend down the steps. 

I don't know what happened next. 

I can't stop thinking about those boys.

One of them I want to find and wrap my arms around him and tell him he looks so handsome.

And the other I want to find and wrap my hands around his scrawny little neck and choke him until he turns blue.

Believe me, I'm not normally this hostile ... at least towards other peoples children, but this just struck me the wrong way.  In a big way.  I'm getting pissed off all over again just thinking about it.

Kids are so freakin' mean.  And I know it's always been that way ... but in today's world it just seems to be a lot worse. 

These kids aren't being taught respect and manners.

Kids have no clue that spouting off at the mouth the way they do is wrong. 

Kids aren't aware that their hateful words cut through others and leave scars that will last a lifetime.

But they do.  And kids don't care.

Maybe it's time they start.

Please join me today in sitting down with your kid(s) and reminding them of how important the words they choose to use are.  How they can completely impact someone.  Both in good and bad ways.

I tell ya, if I ever heard one of my kids talk to another the way Mr. Asshole talk to the sweet boy ... I may really actually strangle him.  Just for a second. 

No.  Not really. 

But I'd be sure to let them know that talking to people like that isn't acceptable AT ALL. 

And I'd be sure they didn't forget it.

Okay ... I'm done ranting now.

I wish I could say I felt better ...

Comments

[Sara]

Kids can be cruel...and yes, the sad thing is that in today's society, they have no clue that what they are saying and doing is WRONG. I still remember some very hurtful things being said to me when I was younger and 15-20 years later, it still hurts. My parents did the best they could. And I love them for it.

[Jill]

Oh yes...I so agree. If you get a minute, read my post from Sunday about a boy and his dad... mean kids indeed.

[amy flege]

oh my.. what the hell.. that happened at our school? I think I would of discussed it with Ms. Laue with all the new anti bullying rules going into play now. I feel so bad for the little boy. I am sure his smile will make his picture perfect though!

[amy flege]

oh my.. what the hell.. that happened at our school? I think I would of discussed it with Ms. Laue with all the new anti bullying rules going into play now. I feel so bad for the little boy. I am sure his smile will make his picture perfect though!

[AmyG]

Sad, so sad. And you're right, kids are not taught respect & manners like we were as kids. The boy was I was keeping afterschool, is like the mean kid in your post. He's made many comments about the trailer we live in & Em's clothes, toys, ect. After Friday, I'm no longer keeping him. I don't even allow my girls to put each other down. It's wrong & hurtful. Elementary school was hard for me, I have no good memories from it & I pray everyday that Em doesn't have to face the same thing I did.

[green3]

Mean kids suck. That one comment may affect that kid for the rest of his life.

[tamara]

now I'm all ticked off too. I wanna love on that little boy too.

I've been trying to explain to my son that name calling isn't appropriate. But he's 3, and his "name calling" isn't even a real word. How do you teach a 3 year old to be kind with his words?

[Brillig]

Oh, it breaks my heart! I too want to find the boy and wrap my arms around him! Stupid mean kids!!!! It makes me sad and angry at the same time. I'm going to have a little chat with my school-aged children. I don't think they're talking like this, but chances are good that this boy's parents don't think he's talking like this either!

[nicheplayer]

I guess it's never too early to find out the world is full of douchebags.

[Kellyn]

This is out biggest issue with Hunter. Kids are constantly picking on him because he is skinny, has red hair and wears glasses. The kids can't get a break. Now, with Boo in school we show her how hurt Hunter has been, and it makes it more real to her. She doesn't like name-calling or bullying, and stands up for herself now. That is something I am proud of. Plus, she defends her friends against the mean little kids in her class.

[Kelley]

That stinks! I would have probably not shown as much restraint as you had... I would have told Mr. Asshole, if you dont have anything nice to say, shut your damn nouth.

[Angela in Ohio]

I just went to my 25th high school reunion (shut up I am NOT old!) Anyhoo, for the most part people were nice, but some of the biotches were still biotches. I'm chosing to believe they were so shamed by their behavior in junior high athey couldn't bring themselves to face me. I guess some people never grow up.

[Cindy]

That frick'n punk. Karma, baby, Karma....his day will come. And, I will remind my children to use their nice words. Always.

[Lesley K]

That is the sort of comment that will stay in that poor little boy's head for the rest of his life. But who knows - it could very well be the one comment that inspires him to become the next bill gates!

[Leslie]

Ugh. Mean kids.

I had a girl in my class say something similar to me when I was in second grade about my clothes. I had a lot of homemade clothes and hand-me-downs from cousins. I can remember feeling so excited to wear this gray sweater with hearts all over it. It had been my older cousin's and I loved it. Then this girl absolutely crushed me by pointing out that the edges of my sleeves were tattered.

Recently, as I was out shopping for school clothes with Julia - her first "school clothes" ever - and I went a little overboard. I told my husband (as I was trying to justify the amount I spent when our budget is so tight) that I never wanted Julia to feel the way I felt that day back in second grade. "I don't want her to be that kid that gets made fun of for her clothes."

My husband said, "Well, we don't want her to be the other kid either."

Even at 32, I'm still learning my lesson from that experience.

[Trenches of Mommyhood]

My heart broke just reading that.

The mantra in our Trenches is: ALWAYS BE KIND. We say this repeatedly to the boyz. And we try to lead by example (not always successfully, mind you.)

[Sally]

I have been out of school for 28 years and I can still remember every mean thing that was ever said to me and exactly who said it.
Unfortunately kids do not stop to think how hurtful their words can be and how long the hurt from their words remain- nor do they particularly care, or they wouldn't have said it in the first place.
My heart goes out to that little boy.

[Dee]

You should have called the mean kid out on it, in front of everyone. Even if it were a simple one liner. I don't care if you're not a teacher. I don't care if you're not his parent. That kid deserves to be made an example of by an adult that other kids will look up to, whoever it may be. Embarrassing the mean kid in front of all the other kids for what he said would have been the best medicine for him.

You'd have been a hero to the poor boy who was made fun of, and to a lot of other kids standing around who probably have also been picked on by the mean kid. I'm not putting you down, just mentioning it as food for thought!

It's easy to sit back on the sideline and be horrified at how some children behave. It is tougher to step in when it's not your child and stand up for what you believe in, but the lessons that kids learn by seeing you do it when it's really needed will last a lifetime.

We are ALL leaders and examples for ALL children, and when we see someone being mistreated and say nothing, it's as much as letting it happen.

[Jody]

I'm just gonna say it: uniforms. :)

Mean kids suck. I would definitely mention it to someone.

[Lis Garrett]

Oh, this just makes my stomach hurt. I think I would absolutely die if I knew one of my kids had said such a mean thing to a classmate. Ugh.

I think I might have said something to each boy separately. But that's just me . . . . I've a hard time biting my tongue. ;-)