An Iowa Mom

It's Important To Always Follow Protocol

Doesn't everyone have little cutsie tootsie rituals they share with their children?  The tiniest of things that are repeated every single day, that they will likely remember forever.  It is my hope that my children remember the sweet and kind words that we share, rather than the loud demands and criticism that often is spewed from my mouth before I realize it's been released.

One of our rituals is something that Jake and I have done for years and years.  It's kind of silly, but it's OURS, and that makes it special to me.  You'll hear the following words spoken from our mouths every single morning and every single night ... and quite often a few times in between:

Me:  I love you.

Jake:  I love you more!

Me:  Impossible!!

Jake:  Possible.

See, I told you kinda silly ... but we've just ALWAYS done that.  And I hope we always will.

There is a similar routine that Molly and I share.  It was created when she was very into learning how to count.  She'd say, "I love you 100!"  And that meant A LOT!  I'd say I love her 101.  She'd continue so her number was ALWAYS higher than mine, until we'd just give up laughing.

Then, yesterday ... she was home from school ill.  We were snuggled up on the couch watching TV.   I leaned down and kissed her forehead ...

Me:  I love you Molly girl.  So much.

Molly:  Well ... I love you 180.

Me:  I love you 181.

Molly:  Then I guess you love me more than I love you.

With that she broke our gaze and focused back on Yo Gabba Gabba. 

She is four people.  Four years old.  I understand that.  But her words pinged my heart a little.  We all want our kids to love us unconditionally, just as we love them.  We like to hear the words that they love us more than anything else in the world.   Maybe it reassures us of their love after we spend the morning screaming and yelling at them to do the right thing and to make good decisions.  Or maybe it's just me who does that.  Hhhmmmm.  That is a possibility.

But ... that is not the case with Molly anymore.  She broke the tradition.  Our ritual has been damaged. 

So what did I do?  How did I handle the situation?  With the same maturity I always use!

I turned the channel to Ellen.  I'd had enough of HER shows. 

Hey ... it's important that I stay consistent with my parenting tactics. 

We'll call it ... tradition!

Creating A Dynasty

Jake has recently taken a liking to chess.  Yes, chess.  As in bishops and knights and rooks and pawns and all that stuff.  I explain like that because I don't have a freakin' clue about any of it.  I will admit, when he first became interested, he asked me to learn.  Ya know ... so we'd have another game we could play together.  I was excited.  And I tried.  As a matter of fact, I'm still trying ... but I continue to hear the word "Checkmate" out of his mouth a mere 7 seconds after the game has begun, pretty much each.and.every.single.time we sit down to play.  So I have pretty much given up.  And when Drew is watching us play ... and finds it necessary to remind me that "giving up is NOT an option in our house", I reminded him that I am the mother and I can do whatever the hell I want to do. 

Just sayin'. 

I didn't question when Jake had a sudden interest in this game, that in my opinion feel is way too confusing for the human mind.  The reason?  Well, because he is pre-pubescent.  Duh.  He decided to join the chess club with his girlfriend, back when he had one, because it was after school ... and that meant MORE time together.  From my experience, spending more time with a girl you like, takes priority over anything else in the world when you're a boy Jake's age.  Now please, keep in mind that I'm not an expert.  I don't know this FOR SURE ... because I've never been a boy Jake's age ...  come to think of it, I've never been a boy of any age, but I'm guessing that if I was ... that is how it would be.  I've always been a pretty good guesser ... so I'd take my word for it.

Anyway, Jake has embraced this game wholeheartedly and has wanted to be a part of both tournaments that have taken place since he started on this chess journey.  One was back in January and he had a BLAST.  I know what you're thinking ... how can someone have the time of his life spending the day with a bunch of other kids trying to capture their king?  I don't understand it either ... but I witnessed it first hand ... and he had a lot of fun.  For being just his first tournament, he did quite well.  His school team finished third and he placed third on his team.  The kid even brought home a trophy.  Really.  I kid you not.

This past Saturday was the Elementary State Tournament in Des Moines.  He wanted to participate, so we all packed up and drove to Des Moines on Saturday morning.  We watched from afar as he played his first four rounds.  To be completely honest, the majority of the entertainment ... was watching Big Daddy, as he was totally unimpressed with the excitement level of a chess tournament.  However, in the fifth round that all changed when Jake's coach said to us, "I hate to tell you this but ... if Jake wins this match our school gets third place.  If he loses, we don't!"

Apparently ANY type of competition is right up Big Daddy's alley ... because from that moment on, the vein across his temple was bulging as he intently watched Jake move his pieces around the checkered board ... have absolutely NO CLUE what was going on.  He was taking deep breaths and pacing back and forth ... as if Jake's life depended on this win. 

Cracked me up.

Jake won the round.  And his school finished 3rd in the state tournament, with Jake finishing 2nd on his team.  I can not express to you how proud of himself he is.  And how proud of him we are ... as that was only his second tournament ever. 

The next tournament is Saturday and not only is Jake registered to take part ... so is Drew.  HA!  Is it possible to have a dynasty of chess players in the family ... when Mom and Dad have no idea how to even play the game?

We'll see.

Following In My Footsteps

The other night, my oldest son informed me that he has started a blog.  Just like his mother.  Yup.  All on his own.  I played no part in any of it.  Seriously.

Why did he tell me this bit of information?

Well ... I think he's using me.  Using me for YOU.  I didn't come to this conclusion the first three times he asked if I'd tell you all about his blog ... but then this morning ... nestled snuggly under my keyboard, I found this:

 
So, as any good mother would do ... or because I'm just sick of hearing it ... I'd like to share with you ...

Life Of An Iowa Boy

I give him just a couple of days before he forgets to post. 

Just sayin'. 

I mean, they are MY footsteps he's following in after all.

Project 365 - Day 4 - Pork! Only Pork!

If you've read this blog for a while ... and by "awhile" I mean ... years... then you MIGHT know that two of our four children have been diagnosed with ADHD. 

Yup, they have.  How do you think I've gotten so much blog material?  Hello?

Anyway ... while having a child with ADHD is a challenge, having two is triplethe challenge.  I'm just sayin'.

If you're familiar with ADHD, then you know that children who take medication (please do not send hate mail, I'm not up for it) for ADHD struggle to have an appetite.  It's not fun.  You make a meal and they won't eat it.  Regardless of what it is.  Even if it's a favorite.  EVEN IF IT'S CAKE!!!

Then ... the timing is right and you have something special warming in the crockpot (BBQ Pork) and your oldest child catches a wiff of the aroma from the basement.  It smells so tantalizing that it weens him AND HIS FRIEND from their video game ... to come up and ask what is cookin' for dinner.

Now you KNOW that means it's smellin' pretty darned good.  Don't you?

It's then you start second guessing whether or not you should feed it to your family or freeze it and save it for when someone REALLY special comes to visit.  I mean, it's not often your kid, AND HIS FRIEND, set down their controllers to find out what is smelling so good in your kitchen.  Right?

And my one neighbor says I can't cook.  What's wrong with him?  Ahem ... never mind that silly thought.  Notice I said "ONE" neighbor.

So ... after I finally come to my senses and realize Keith Urban won't be stopping over for dinner ... before the roast is freezer burned ... I decide to feed it to my husband and children.

Jake in particular ... because he is begging for it.

And I like that.

Jake:  Mom, that smells so good.  Can I eat now?

Me:  No, Dad and Drew are still at ball practice.  You'll have to wait.

Jake:  Please.  I'm starving ... what do I have to do?

Kinda sounds like a soap opera, doesn't it?  Welcome to my life.

 

Me:  All of your clean clothes are on my bed ... you have to put them all away! 

 

THE HORROR!!!!

 

Jake:  OH MAN!!  All of them???  Even the hanging ones???

Me:  Yes.  And when you're done ... take your shower.

Regardless, Jake endured all the madness and managed to place every clean article of clothing in it's appropriate place.  Then jumped in the shower.  Therefore, he was allowed TO EAT!

I even offered him chips, cottage cheese and/or cheesy potatoes to accompany his meal ... which he declined all ... saying he didn't want all the "extra" stuff to fill him up.  Seriously .. he said that ...

I'm not kidding ...

He ate FOUR ... count them 1 - 2 -3 - 4 ... BBQ pork sandwiches ...

Of course ... leaving me with no bun for my sandwich come the 'real' dinner time! 

Figures!

Tellin' It Like It Is ...

Earlier this week when Jake arrived home after school with the news that his "girlfriend" broke up with him ... I tried to be a comforting and understanding mother.  I know that is hard to believe, but I really did. 

I mean ... It was his first break up.  And my first "try to make him feel better after the break up" moment.  We were learning together.

After cuddling with him on the sofa for a while and telling him my own middle school sagas, trying to assure him this is totally par for the course at this stage in life ... I offered up some very valuable information ...

"Jake, don't worry ... there are many other fish in the sea!" I told him.

To which Jake replied, "Yeah ... but I live on land!"

Throwback - No. 1

Do you remember this summer when I never blogged?  Well, I did actually blog, because I specifically recall logging into this little platform thingy and writing that I was sorry I haven't blogged, I realize I'm a loser, and I was BACK.  Really, really back.  And then I wouldn't log in again for weeks.  I lied.  I admit it ... but, technically I DID blog this summer ... just sayin'.

Anyway, just because I didn't blog, doesn't mean that I didn't have things I could have blogged.  And I did keep track of some of those things.  See - I'm not as big a loser as you thought I was, huh?

One of the things I want to share with you, that you probably don't give a flyin' fart about, but this is my blog and I like to record some big things that happen in our lives, so we will always remember them ... and this is one of those things.

Jake, you know that kid of mine who is eleven years old now ... and I just can't believe that ... played baseball again last spring/summer.  He had a lot of fun and totally enjoyed himself last year.  The team was awesome and played so well together ... which is why they ended up in the STATE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME at the state tournament.

Yup, they did.

And while they lost that final game, just getting to that point is such an accomplishment for these boys who practice and try so hard.  I mean, 2nd place in the STATE is nothing to squawk at.  Ya know what I'm sayin'?

So, even though I'm four or five months late in saying it ... CONGRATULATIONS to Jake and the rest of the CR Hawks Black 11U Baseball Team for this memory that I'm sure you will always carry with you.  YOU GUYS ROCK!

As a family, we truly enjoyed attending all the games and Jake, we are so proud of your accomplishment!

A Typical Monday

Monday was a "Teacher Inservice Day".  I don't know if you all have these in your district or not ... but we have a ton of them.  I know, I know ... they are important.  The teacher needs these days to prepare.  To learn.  To be the best they can be while teaching our kiddos.  But I think they are crap.  Probably because they always fall on Monday.  If they were on Wednesdays, I think I'd have a completely different opinion.  Just sayin'

Anyway, this is not about school.  Or teacher inservice days.  Or Wednesdays.  It's about Mondays.  Particularly this past Monday.

The day started just as any other day would ... only I was being jolted awake at 6:30am for NO REASON ... since the children didn't have school.  Apparently, my kids feel that school or no school, I should be up preparing their nutritious breakfast before the freakin' sun gets up.  Note to self:  Stock up on PopTarts.

I won't give you the details of the day, since it was a typical day and I can sum it up in one sentence.  My kids misbehaved, didn't listen to a word I said, drove me freakin' crazy and then I lost my mind.  Again.

There.

Fast forward to late afternoon.  I was preparing to get Emily ready for her soccer game, waiting for Big Daddy to come retrieve her.  Negotiations between her and I took place earlier that afternoon awarding me a "pass to opt out" of attending her event.  While I would have liked nothing else but to see 16 kindergartners running around in the rain and mud for an hour, I really needed to spend some time with my sewing machine since I was participating in the local "Fall Fest" craft show this weekend.  Keyword:  WAS.

So, there I was.  Organized.  Extra time before Big Daddy was to arrive.  I cracked open a beer to celebrate my accomplishment.  Tipped it up to my lips and took a nice, big, long swig ... and then the phone rang.

It seems as though Jake was playing football up the street with some friends and was now bleeding from his head.  Yup.  My neighbor informed me of this ... because they called HER rather than me.  Ya see, here in our neighborhood, we prefer to have the mothers of the non-injured kids run through the rain to tend to the injured children.  I mean, HELLO, the parent of the bleeding child was enjoying her celebratory beverage, she couldn't be bothered. 

I'm kidding.

Kinda.

The girls and I jumped in the car and headed five houses up the street ... where I found Jake laying on the stairs in the foyer, ON THEIR BRAND NEW CARPET, with a towel to his forehead.  Covered in blood.

Needless to say, I had to place a call to my sewing machine to reschedule our date ... because I would be sitting in the Urgent Care for the next 3 hours ... with beer on my breath ... while Jake got sewn up.   So technically there was sewing involved ... it just wasn't fabric.

To think we were nervous that Drew would get hurt playing football ... NA!  It was Jake.  And as it turns out, the gash in his head wasn't caused by playing the greatest game on earth.  Nope.  They were playing some version of hide and seek and he was hiding in front of a door.  Well, what do you know ... when you hide in front of a door and someone opens it ... you'll cut your head open.

Don't say I never taught you anything.  This blog is very educational. 

And yes, that is my sixth grade boy ... with a clippie in his hair ... and I posted it.  Because I'm mean like that.  Hey ... at least it matches his shirt.

Sorry for the long post.

I guess I could have just said, "Monday afternoon Jake had an accident and cut his head.  He needed 5 stitches."

Yeah, that would have probably been a lot easier.