An Iowa Mom

The Final Project!

Wow!

I bet you can't believe you were lucky enough to stumble upon this blog today. 

You get to see the final project for my 10 year old 5th grader ... who waited until THREE days before the project was due ... to tell me about it.

If you are new to the blog ... scroll back because I'm too lazy to link to it.

For all the others ... here is the finale you've been waiting for ....

A Longhouse. 

Complete with women cooking over the fire and carrying babies on their backs.  Let's not forget that they have some warm blankies to snuggle under.

-



Wup - don't look now ... but there are some bear, deer and fox to be hunted.

BTW - Is he not the cutest 5th grader in Iowa that you've ever seen?

Shut up Big Daddy ... I'm NOT playing favorites ... I'm just sayin'.

-



Check it out ... we've got a garden ... and a lake shore!!!

And yes, it was Jake's project, so it was all Jake's way ...
don't you LOVE the garden on the shoreline? 

As soon as I tried to talk him out of that ... he dug his heels into the ground to make sure the garden was placed RIGHT THERE!

-



Speaking of the garden ... while Jake did most of this project (minus the hot glue gun gluing) ... Big Daddy is priding himself on the CORN.  Yes, my friends ... Big Daddy made the corn ALL BY HIMSELF.   Jake can take NO CREDIT.  Don't worry - I'll be sure to tell his teacher so that Jake is graded on the work he actually did.

As a side note I must say ... there is something very sexy about a man with scissors, ribbon, tape and toothpicks getting creative and makin' him some crafty corn.  I'm just sayin'.

-


That's it.
Doesn't look like it would take more than 20 minutes to make.  But it did.

I present you with ...

A fifth grade, Native American, social studies model/project ...
Done!  In 3 days!
Never Again.


Until Drew is in 5th Grade.
Right?

Can we save this one and reuse it?  Or would that be wrong?


JUST KIDDING!

Maybe.

Pay It Forward Friday - 11/14/08

Wanna play ... or do you just want to sit there gawking? 

Whatever.

I'm playing so here I go.

It's really easy ... I actually close my eyes and roll my mouse over my blogroll ...

SERIOUSLY!

The blog I went to from MY site is:  Life With My 3 Boybarians - love 'er ... she created the graphics for IowaMoms.net.  (CHEAP PLUG - Hey ... how could I not?)

From Darcy's Blog I Made My Way To:  Urban Mom

And From Urban Mom I Found Myself At:  My Nut Village

There ya go ... some great and random reading for this weekend ... visit the participants below for more.  GO!  Ya never know who or what you'll find ...

and tell them you found them via An Iowa Mom. 

I mean, come on ... spread the word about Pay It Forward Friday ... it's the least you could do.

Well ... not really ... you COULD play.  Wanna?

I Would Never Break A Promise - Project Day #2

Holy Smokes!

It's 11:00pm.

And I'm still up.

I don't know whether to hop up on the couch and imitate Tom Cruise on Oprah ... or to cry into my beer, because I have to get up and drive the preschool carpool in the morning.

That dilemma will have to wait until later, because I PROMISED you all that I would show the next step of "THE PROJECT" tonight.  And I would never want to go back on my word. 

Well, that's my new 'thing' anyway.  Staying true to my word.

Obviously I'm not kidding ... because here I am at 11pm ... uploading THIS picture to my blog to show you all progress.

The exterior of the longhouse.

There ya go.

Goodnight.

Consider This A String Tied Around Your Finger

Tomorrow is PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY.

It's a lot fun.  You should REALLY participate. 

Because if you don't ...

I will cry.

It sounds difficult and confusing ... but it's NOT.  If I can do it ... my cat sitting here licking himself could do it ... which means you could do it.

Seriously people.  It's THAT easy.

HERE ARE THE RULES.

The Project - Day #1

I forgot to show our progress on "THE PROJECT" yesterday ... so I will share that progress right now.  And yesterday's progress later on today.

What?

Are you calling me a procrastinator too?  ARE YOU?

So what?

I'm not in fifth grade.  With a project due.

I'm just a blogger ...

with readers ...

hanging on my every word.

Oh geez, I crack myself up.  I've found that I have to have a good sense of humor to survive in this house.

Not only am I a procrastinator as well ... I also find it hard to stay on track ... OBVIOUSLY.

So ... here is the project progress.  I know you can barely hold yourself together waiting ... huh?

First Jake painted the box that we'd use as his "frame".  He was actually pretty happy doing this.

And then it was time to paint the katrillion Popsicle sticks that would give the "frame" of the house a little somethin' somethin'.  This is where things got a little hairy ... as Jake was pissy because his fingers were getting dirty (I KNOW! Don't ask!), not to mention the fact that Drew was behind him playing on his computer (see him in the chair in the background), laughing because he was playing a game on Jake's name.  Oh the horror!  Can this smile get any faker????  I don't believe so.

While the sticks were drying ... we check out out the "frame".  It was looking good.  This is where Jake wanted to quit for the night ... but I wouldn't have it.  I had to be the big, bad, mean mother ... who made him keep going ... after all, he was the one who waited until 3 nights before it was to be presented, right?

So, he glued down the grass.  Note the two different colors ... "for shadowing".  I tried to talk him out of this but he informed me that it was HIS project.  Fine.  Whatever.  The door was also cut out and he determined the positioning of the longhouse ... and then I let him stop for the night.  I must have had enough of that beer to regain my soft spot.  Plus, I could tell Jake was just itching to get upstairs and beat up on his brother ...

However, the next night ... we have to be BACK AT IT.  After all, only 2 nights left.

Under A Rock, Maybe?

Or possibly in a bubble? 

Really ... I DON'T live under a rock ... or in a bubble.  Though one might question that after realizing that I have not ever seen the following video.

And I do know that the majority of you have probably seen it.

But for the one lone soul out there ... like me ... I want to share this with you.

CRACKED ME THE HECK UP! 

Maybe because I could totally see Molly doing something like this.  TOTALLY!  In fact, she watched this with me because she wanted to see what I was laughing at ... and now I'm nervous that it gave her a "really good idea". 

Seriously.

Her eyes lit up when she saw it.

Scared me.

For real.

Because I Have Nothing Else Going On

... I decided to start looking for Christmas cards.  I entertained the thought of making them.

Again.

Just like I do every year.

Sometimes I even go to the extent of buying all the supplies.  Cutting out the pieces I'll need.  And then assembling ... THREE of them.  Oh shoot, I don't give myself enough credit ... last year I think I got EIGHT cards done.  Mind you, I need like 75 of them.

I suck.

This year ... I'm not even going there.  I'm buying them.  Those cute little cards that everyone sends now with a picture of their kiddos on the front.  I want 'em.  Never have we ever sent any like that.

But we will this holiday season.  I'm on it.  I'm ordering from Studio Style for my Christmas Photo Cards.  They have such a great selection of designs and I love the print styles and colors.

So, I'm feeling really on top of things because I want to get them ordered and out the week after Thanksgiving.

And now for the stinkin' family photo ...

Good Lord ... who knows how long THAT will take to accomplish.

What kind of holiday cards do you send out?

Can You Say, "Procrastinater"?

About three weeks ago a sheet of paper came home informing us that Jake would have to do a school project. 

THREE WEEKS AGO.

Yesterday, Jake finally decided on doing a model of a longhouse for his Native American social studies project.  Of course, the child can't simply draw up a poster.  Or find a recipe of a food the Iroquois tribe used to eat way back when, one that we could prepare and share with the class.

No.

Of course not.

He is hell bent on making a model of a longhouse.  It's his project, so it's his decision.  But I'm just sayin' ... IT'S DUE ON FRIDAY!

TODAY IS TUESDAY!

Get the point?

Why do I have a bad feeling that I'm going to be VERY involved in this project?

So to the store we venture and this is what we have to work with ...

I'll leave you with that as we get started.

And of course, like always ... I'll keep you updated, because I know you'll all have difficulty sleeping if you don't know how the project is progressing.

Good thing I'm always thinking ... I wouldn't want you to lose out on any shut eye, and then do something stupid the next morning ... ya know, like ... FEED YOUR KID.

Cooking Can Equal Quality Time

A couple weeks back, Elaine sent my girls the cutest little apron.  Disney princesses covered the front and it is pink.  As you can probably guess ... as it was opened, both girls caught a glimpse of it and all hell broke loose.  The two girls fought like cats and dogs ... or like two sisters ages 3 and 5 ... you get the point, right?

Believe it or not, Molly (the three year old) came out on top and I tied the apron around her little neck as I tried to console Emily who was lying on the floor, screaming something about ...  being unfair, and how she doesn't like anyone in our family, and that she is going to lock herself in her room and never come out ... ya know, the norm ... blah blah blah.

Once Emily was upstairs and had slammed her bedroom door closed.  She stomped her feet hard enough to make the living room light shake and I figured it was time.  Time for Molly and I to get busy in the kitchen.  Emily would surely sulk awhile so she wouldn't have to be subjected to the fun Molly and I were about to have.

I asked Molly what she wanted to do ... and she answered, "Make biscuits!" 

So we did.

Let me just say ... my girls don't EVER want to do ANYTHING I ask them to do.  If I suggest them helping me out a bit ... they pretty much run in the opposite direction.  However, tie a Princess Apron around their neck ... and they're all about helping.

It's like magic.

You should try it.

If you have a little girl in your life, I highly recommend these aprons.  You can find them at Laine's Babies ... among other things like nursing aprons and baby blankets.  Everything is handmade by Elaine herself with 100% cotton fabrics.  Plus, she is very accommodating when it comes to fabric choices and prices ... unlike most, she doesn't charge an arm and a leg.  Even though if I would have let the cat fight carry on in my living room between the two girls ... I would have surely had an arm AND a leg to pay with.  Luckily, I don't have to.

Do me a favor and go check out her stuff.

Now excuse me while I go over there myself to get an apron for Emily before my light falls out of my ceiling, because I can't get the one Elaine was kind enough to send to us OFF OF MOLLY.  She even slept in it.

I'm not kidding.

Really.

Looking Back ...

Yesterday I started into my TO DO List, doesn't it seem like I'm ALWAYS working on a list and never accomplish it?

Well guess what?  I'm actually making progress. 

I know. 

A miracle.

So, rather than start something else (like blogging), I'm going to continue on with my list.  Shouldn't take me all day to complete ... and then I'll be back with a review you won't want to miss.

Until then, you can take a look back with me at one of my all too common parenting memories ...

---

Originally posted in May 2008

Today is Emily's second school field trip ever.  These outings are very exciting for her, as they require riding the big, yellow school bus.  A bus virtually identical to the one she watches her brothers ride away on every morning. 

I carpool to preschool with a friend of mine, and she is responsible for taking the girls, and I am responsible for retrieving them.  This morning as Emily was waiting in the driveway for her ride and I was snapping a few pictures to document this important day.  Ya know, HER SECOND FIELD TRIP EVER!

As my friend pulled up, I leaned down and kissed Emily and told her to have a great time at the Nature Center and her response was ...

"But Mom!  I haven't eaten breakfast yet!"

That was just when my heart sank and my mind raced, trying to replay the morning.  I had assumed Big Daddy fed the girls, and he assumed I did.

You know what they say ... "When you assume ... you make an ass out of you and me."

And we proved this to be true this morning.

So, being the wonderful, nurturing, on top of things Mother that I am.  I told her ...

"Don't worry about it.  You don't need breakfast.  Just have fun!"

Yeah, that's all I could come up with.  Aren't I creative?  Don't I just have a way about me that made Emily ride away feeling loved and cared for as her belly rumbled?

So, God forbid the girl grow up with an eating disorder ... and we can look back on this post and realize it's all my fault.  Her mother.  Telling her she doesn't need food, she just needs to have fun.

Yeah, that's nice.

Oh dear heavens ... I'm such a moron.

A run to Casey's to fill up my 44oz. coke was somehow fit into our morning schedule ... but breakfast for my 4 year old didn't.  I feel AWFUL!

I suck. 

I mean ... really suck! 

And I know it.  So you can spare me the nasty emails.

Rather than telling me how awful I am ... make me feel better by revealing one of your "Mommy Ooops Moments".

Come on ... fess up.  You can't tell me you've never goofed up ROYALLY before. 

You can post anonymously, ya know?  So get to it so I feel better and can put down the phone from calling DFS on myself.

We Could Use Some Earmuffs ... It's Snowing After All

Okay ... yesterday morning when I turned the water off to my steamy hot shower (Lord knows the traffic I'll get from Google-r's now, huh? ... anyway,) I was greeted by Molly. 

Molly, Molly my big helper, who was opening my shower door letting in the FREEZING FREAKIN' COLD air ... because heaven forbid I actually have more than 3.4 minutes to myself.  Or even enough time to wrap a towel around my goose bump filled body. 

"Hi Mom!" she said cheerfully, as if she didn't just see me 4 minutes before ... when I stepped INTO the shower.

Why do kids do this?  Don't they want a few minutes to THEMSELVES?  Because I would really appreciate them wanting this time ... because it would allow me to ... I don't know ... BREATHE.

Well, because the weather is turning colder, I have my clothes sitting right outside the shower so that I can dress as fast as possible.  Believe me when I say ... I don't like the cold.  At all.  Year round, since we're talking about showers, I take mine with water so hot that my skin is literally RED when I emerge from it.  I guess I'm what you'd call a natural born ... heat lover.  I don't freakin' know.  But, you get the point, right?

Not that the point made has anything at all to do with my story.  Because it doesn't.  However, I know that you all feel slightly more fulfilled now that you know that little detail about me, don't you?  Don't you?  DON'T YOU?

Whatever!

So, onward ... when I finally get one towel securely on top of my head and another around my shivering body, I look up to find Molly with my bra around her head and she's holding the cups over her ears ...

"Look Mom!"  she giggled, "I have your ear muffs!"

Wanting to laugh, I control myself ... because I'm mean and hateful that way, plus I know my daughter well enough that if I laugh ... she'll run ... thinking it's a game.  And when I'm cold, and naked ... I don't want to chase my three year old around the house.  I'm just sayin'.

"It's not earmuffs!" I said sternly, holding my hand out ... knowing she'll know I'm serious ... standing there with dripping hair in my bath towel.  Usually my  most serious face doesn't matter.  But this time it did.  I was shocked.  I was floored.  I was flabbergasted. 

You get the point.

"Oh yeah ..." she giggled, taking the bra from her head and holding it out to me, "These are for your BUBS!"

And then I laughed.

Wouldn't you?

Pay It Forward Friday - 11/7/08

Here we are back at Pay It Forward Friday.  The rules SOUND difficult, but really ... if you just work through the steps it's VERY simple and it was fun.

Here are my links:

FROM MY BLOG I WENT TO:

1.  Life Unscripted - I've bee reading Erin for a long time.  I have never met her, but she is from the town I graduated high school.  It's fun to see places in the backgrounds of her photos that look familiar. 

FROM THAT BLOG I WENT TO:

2. Dirty Little Secret - A new addition has just arrived.  Congratulations are in order.

FROM THAT BLOG I WENT TO:

3.  Mommy Wants Vodka - A list is revealed for all parents of things they DO NOT need to buy before a new baby arrives.

That was fun.  However, kinda scary in my case ... every single one of the three blogs I landed on ... had talk of new babies.  Is that some sort of sign?  NO!  Absolutely not.  There is no way.

Come play along.  Form you own list.  Rules are here.  And then come visit all the participants below for some great and fun reading over the weekend.  :)

It's Back! PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY - Revised -

WOW - I did not realize that so many of you enjoyed "Pay It Forward Friday" that much.  So, back by popular demand ... I bring you PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY ... Revised.

It seems the previous PIFF was too complicated to work like it was designed.  And whose fault is that?

YOURS!

Good God, I'm just kidding ... it's MY fault.  Okay?  I said it.  I take full responsibility.  It just wasn't simple enough to attract others to participate. 

So here are the new rules:

1.  Visit a BLOG from YOUR blog roll.  - Comment on one post on the first page of the blog, telling them you are participating in Pay It Forward Friday with a link back here to the rules (this post).

Example: [Enter whatever you want to say to the author here] ...Just to let you know I’m here while playing “PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY” over at An Iowa Mom. It’s fun … come join us. http://www.aniowamom.com/an_iowa_mom/2008/11/its-back.html

2.  From that site, click on a blog from THEIR blog roll.  If they don't have a blog roll, visit one of their commenter's links.  - Again, comment on one post on the first page of the blog, telling them you are participating in Pay It Forward Friday with a link back here to the rules (this post).

3.  From THAT site, click on a blog from THEIR blog roll.  Repeat above.

Then, come back to YOUR blog and post, linking to each blog you visited and if you'd like you can share a little bit about them.

Come To An Iowa Mom  ... sign Mr. Linky and link to YOUR post that lists the three blogs you visited and commented on.

This will be some great reading when blog posting is slow over the weekend.

Have fun!

What an awesome way to discover new blogs ... basically recommended by "friends".

Have at it.  :)

Mr. Linky will be up first thing in the morning.

Who Knows What My Future Holds ...

Okay this was fun.  I just saw Jill post this and because I'm a big copy cat and don't want to be left out of anything, I scooted by little bootie over to MyHeritage.com to do one for myself.

And don't even question if my bootie is actually little. Okay?

I'm just sayin'. 

Today has not been a good day, so I know you don't even want to mess with me.

HA!  Did I sound mean?  Are you scared?

You will be when you see this ... I could only WISH I looked like these people.

After you check me out ... go do one of your own and then let me know so I can come make fun of you.

:)

 

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Pedigree - Roots

See?

She did it again.  After I wrote my last post, sharing with you all how my Emily is becoming a little me ... and how proud of that I was.  But, she was difficult and tested me daily ... more like hourly.  Well, she turned me into a liar.  Flat out.

There would be no other reason that to spite me for what I wrote about her on my blog.  I'm pretty confident that she didn't read it.   I mean, a mother knows this stuff about her children.  She may be able to log on to the computer and pull the blog up ... but reading it?  Doubtful.

Anyway, to be fair ... because I'm always fair, right? ... I wanted to follow up that post with her behavior and attitude yesterday ...

It was fabulous.  Smiled all day.  Spoke to me with respect, please and thank you's.  Did as she was told.  And she even helped me out when she wasn't even asked, in addition to playing nicely with her siblings.

While I would like to think a dramatic change has actually taken place inside her naturally ... I know ... she was just trying to show me up and make me look a fibber.  There would be no other reason.

However, whatever the logic ... she was awesome all stinkin' day and even while she slept.  Take a look over there at my sweet girl.  I thoroughly enjoyed being her mother yesterday (and even so far today, as she's sitting here next to me on her laptop teaching me to spell FISH) ...

But I will not retract my fair warning for the world to watch out for her ... because I'm convinced she's gonna be a little spitfire.

Mini Me?

It's no secret that Emily and I butt heads more than we don't.  I mean, this little girl knows already at the age of five how to push every single freakin' button I have.  And she's proud of it.

I am not kidding.

When I pick her up from school her teachers proudly assure me that Emily is well behaved and mannered in school and ... WOW-WEE ... what a great helper she is.  However, somehow they manage to miss the tantrum and nasty words she spews at me as we walk out of the building.  It's really quite the production if I say so myself. 

Let's just put it this way ... if being a total brat, disrespecting your mother, and intentionally doing the opposite of what she asks of you ... was good?  I am convinced that I'd be the proudest mother on the planet.

Oh ... don't even think you have reason to believe your child is 'just as nasty' ... because a child who is more stubborn, more pig-headed, and more difficult than Emily ... simply does not exist. 

Take my word for it. 

My daughter is a girl version of Eddie Haskel ... like a ... ummm ... what's her name? ... Angelica ... from The Rugrats. 

YES!

That is Emily.  Only being down right rotten to other children is switched with being hateful to her mother.

And the frustrating thing is ... she has got everyone fooled into thinking she is a sweet, delicate flower of girl, who has a mean old bat as a mother.  I swear ... she could run for president.  And win.  AT FIVE.

So, when I walked into the room the other day and found Emily in my big comfy chair ... it warmed my heart.  I almost didn't believe it, I wanted to run over and hug her.  She looked like a ... mini me ... and of course that made this mother very proud ...

-

But seriously people, do you see that she will not even smile for the picture like I asked her to? 

Next time I'll try to remember to tell her to stick her tongue out and flip me the bird ... then I'm more likely to get a smile and probably even a hug.

My Girl.

Watch out world ...

Consider this your fair warning.

I Did, Did You?

There are many things I absolutely love about living in small town Iowa.  One of which I'm very excited about this morning.

It's not the ten mile drive to get to the closest Target.

Or the five miles to get to my beloved McDonalds. 

Not even the fact that the entire population in town knows every single dirty little secret that everyone else has.  I know ... that one is good ... but that's not it.

Every day for the last seven days leading up to the election, it's been all over the news that we'll have record turnout to cast their vote in choosing the next president of our great nation.  Record turnout means long lines ... and the reporters have done a very good job in reminding and preparing us that you may have to wait awhile to exercise your right to vote.

Well ... guess what?

Not where I live. 

I showed up at my polling place at 6:55 this beautiful, sunny, non-November like morning, and was casting my vote by 7:04.  Home by 7:07.

Gotta love small town Iowa.

Have you voted yet?  If not ... get on it, will ya?

Never Better

Okay.  Answer me this.

Is it possible that life can get any better than this for a mother?

Seriously people ... I feel like I just hit the freakin' lottery!!!

Just Beggin' For It

This morning I opened my email and immediately gravitated to one from Big Daddy.  And before any of you start asking, NO, Big Daddy and I don't only communicate via email.  Really.  Promise.

So, I open my email and it reads:

"This made me think of you."

I'm envisioning a million different things ... these are a few:

• A hot chick
• An article on master manipulating
• An article on how hard moms work and are under appreciated
• Someone chugging beer

Ya know ... those are the things I thought would trigger him to 'think of me'.

I was so wrong.

This is what followed:

I think he's just BEGGIN' for another blog post ALL ABOUT HIM.  Don't you?

A Week Of Giveaways - Day #5

Here we are ... the last day of the giveaways and all the winners will be announced tonight and notified by email.  After trick or treating, of course.

So, that leaves time to enter one last giveaway and I saved it for last because it's my kids absolute favorite.

Leave me a comment below to be entered to win the ...

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 CD. 

We've had it for a week now and I even find myself singing along to some of these songs.  By far, the best of the three HSM CD's.  In my opinion.

If you haven't already ... be sure to check out the other four giveaways I'm offering.  And then, head back to Bloggy Giveaways to check out some other last minute additions.

Ask And You Shall Receive

Yesterday afternoon I finally was able to take a breath and sit down to check my email.  Oh, shush, I AM that busy, okay?

As I open my inbox, I immediately notice an email from Big Daddy.  Because he's my favorite, I opened it first.  Ya never know when one will be sent saying, "Drop everything and don't bother cooking ... I'm taking the family out to eat tonight!", and no one would want to miss an email like that, right?

Well, that's not what this one said.  The email from Big Daddy read, "Enough with the <insert inappropriate word here> giveaways and get back to writing funny stories about your family on your blog."

And because I always do everything my husband tells me to do, I got right on it this morning to do what I've been told.

Excuse me while I get myself together, because I crack myself up.  That statement right there was hilarious as far as I'm concerned.

Anyway ... on with the story about my family.

See this?:

That is my husband, Big Daddy, on a motorcycle that he purchased for FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS!  It's older than I am, I think (hee hee) and while it runs ... it's doesn't start ... unless you run with it.

I was going to take a video, but I'm not THAT mean ...

That's not entirely true ... I just wasn't quick enough to capture the moment. 

So, I'll try to paint a visual for you ...

Picture Big Daddy.  Picture his motorcycle above.  Picture Big Daddy running down the street, pushing his motorcycle.  Faster and faster.  Picture a school bus rounding the corner.  Then go back to picturing Big Daddy ... jumping on the bike.  And low and behold it starts.  Back to the bus ... it stops right next to Big Daddy, happily situated with his new toy.  The doors to the big yellow bus open, and the driver hollers, "MID LIFE CRISIS?" ... shut the doors and drives on.

Maybe you had to be there ... but it was hilarious.  I promise ... the next time this happens ... I'll get it on video and you all will be the first to see it.

There ya go Big Daddy ... a story about our family. 

I am here to please ... just ask and you shall receive.

I Need Help In ... Apple Time

Okay. I normally rely on Google or Yahoo to solve all my problems. Well, maybe not my problems, but to answer questions that I should know the answer to ... but don't.

Well, today ... I went to good ol' Google for a quick answer. And the search results took me to Yahoo. But ... that's beside the point.

Anyway, I asked how to keep cut apples from turning brown. Simple, right?

I'm sure this is a question that every mother in America can answer ... except me.

The answer that I got over and over was to use water with a bit of lemon juice (I used 1 qt. of water with 4 tablespoons of lemon juice) and dip the cut apple section into the mixture ... and wa-la ... I'd avoid the nasty brown color that apples tend to turn when exposed to the ... air.

Well, I am smarter than you think, because I tested this theory ... ONE DAY before I needed it to work. 14 hours to be exact.

And guess what?

My apple sections are BROWN.

BROWN, I tell you.

So, here I sit. With 20 apples and 20 cups of caramel to bring to Emily's Halloween party tomorrow ... and without your help ... I'm sure not ONE CHILD will eat one of my apples.

Ya see, I might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I do know that.

HOW DO YOU KEEP APPLES FROM TURNING BROWN?

HELP ME!

PLEASE!

A Week Of Giveaways - Day #4

I'm running a little late today with the giveaway, but it's being put up for grabs none-the-less.  Now, everyone who reads me regularly knows that I used to suffer from a huge addiction, right?

Actually two of them.  Do you remember what they were? 

If you don't, well, shame on you.

I was totally obsession with fast food and McDonalds Monopoly.  So ... in honor of that ... I would like to share a $20 McDonalds Gift Card with one lucky winner.  This should be enough to take your family out for a little treat ... and you won't have to cook.

Sounds like a win win to me.

Leave me a comment below to enter, the winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, October 31 and will be notified by email.

Good luck.

If you haven't already, go check out my other giveaways.  And then head over to the top dog site ... and get lost in all the wonderful things you can win.

TA-DA!

And I'll leave out the part about what a master manipulator I am!

A Week Of Giveaways - Day #3

Do you love a good mystery?

And I'm not talking about a book.  Who the hell needs a damn book to read when you've got almost 1,200 giveaways to get through?  HELLO!

I'm talking like a grab bag mystery.  A little bit of surprise to spice up your life. 

I hope so, because that is the #3 giveaway here on An Iowa Mom.

If you need, or just want, to spruce up your house a little the fall ... then leave a comment below to win a grab bag of AUTUMN HOME DECOR.  You don't know what all is in it, but I will guarantee it's all great stuff.  (No, it's not the bag and items pictured.)

With a value of over $50 to boot.

Winner will be chosen on Friday, October 31 and notified by email.

Be sure to check out my other giveaways ... and then head on back to Bloggy Giveaways to keep workin' your way through the list.

Wait And See

Year after year we end up spending an ungodly insane amount of money on Halloween costumes.  After vowing to go "simple", we let ourselves down and run out the day before Halloween to grab some leftover costume that no one else wanted and end up paying double the price ... it seems. 

I know people, save your comments ... we aren't paying double.  IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WE ARE.  I don't know ... maybe we just had too many kids. 

YA THINK?

Well, this year we surprisingly held true to our word. 

Kinda.

Jake is going to be a nerd, since it went over so well last year.  Plus, since he is too "old" and "mature" for Halloween costumes ... it's kinda like he doesn't even have to dress up.  (ooohhh, I know, that was mean!)

Drew is going to be a baseball player ... and wear Jake's baseball uniform.  EASY!

Emily is going to be a cheerleader ... and use an outfit she already has in their dress up bin.  SCORE!

And Molly, well, she agreed to be a ghost.

And since Molly so graciously agreed to just throw a pillow case over her head, I went out this weekend and purchased a "FANCY NANCY" costume and I'm not going to tell her about it until tomorrow, when she has to dress up for her little party.  You should have seen how giddy I was skipping out of Target with that sucker.  I wish they had it in my size.

Anyway, since my children are difficult pains in the ass most of the time and ruin all my fun on the rare instances I try to be nice, I figured I needed to somewhat prepare her ... without her knowing.  So, on the way home from school, in an attempt to escape the High School Musical tunes that we've been listening to every single freakin' day in the car for the last year, I actually attempted to have a conversation with my sweet, loving three year old.

"So, did you like the Fancy Nancy book Daddy read to you last night before bed?"  I asked sounding enthusiastic.

"No."  she replied.  "Turn it on "BET ON IT", please."

"Don't you think Fancy Nancy is FANCY?  I think she is awesome.  Don't you wish you could dress like her?" I kept trying.

"No."  she answered again.  "Number 8, please!"

"I think Fancy Nancy is the coolest girl in the whole world."

Nothing from Molly.

"Really!"  I was growing impatient, in my head seeing Big Daddy's veins popping out of his temples as he opens the bill from this costume I purchased, "Don't you want to wear Fancy Nancy's clothes?"

"Aaaahhh, nnnnoooooo."  she hollered in a tone that implied she thought I was a total and complete imbecile.  "If I wore her clothes SHE'D BE COMPLETELY NAKED!  High School Musical, please!"

Tune in tomorrow to see if I can transform Miss Molly from a complete brat into Fancy Nancy. 

I say ... there's a 30-70 shot.

Wanna place your bets?

A Week Of Giveaways - Day #2

I've given this next gift away before in the past and it's always been a big hit among Bloggyville, so I thought I'd offer it up again ...

MY CUSTOM MADE BEADED SOCKS! 

SIX PAIR!!

A value of $30.

More Information and Colors

Just leave me a comment on this post ... and you'll be entered to receive these adorable socks for the little girl in your life.

Winner will be announced on Friday, October 31st and notified by email.

Good Luck and when you're done entering this contest ... check out my main giveaway page over here for other great giveaways <cough> Target Gift Card </cough>. 

And then ... head back over to Bloggy Giveaways to find more cool stuff!

A Week Of Giveaways!

And it all starts today! 

If you found yourself here from the Bloggy Giveaways, WELCOME!  I am truly happy that you've taken the time to stop into my lil' ol' blog and take a peek around.

Oh shoot, who the hell am I fooling?  You're not here to check out my blog ... you're here to win some stuff?

Right?

Of course you are!

Well, you've come to the right place and I suggest you take a moment to bookmark me or subscribe to my blog, because all week, I'll be adding another prize up for the winning. 

There will be FIVE prizes total and each one will be offered up right here on this post.  All five winners will be chosen on Friday evening and contacted via email.

Oh be quiet, I know I talk too much ... and all you really care about is the prize right now.  I know that.  I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box ... but I'm not completely stupid. 

So, for once, I'll be nice and get on with it. 

The first prize is:
$50 Gift Card To None Other Than TARGET! 

Really, who doesn't love Target?  Don't answer that ... because if you don't love Target, I don't think I want to know about it.  As a matter of fact ... I KNOW that I don't want to know about it.

Alright.  Enough already.  Leave me a comment to be entered to win ... the Target Gift Card.

And be sure to check back tomorrow (don't forget), to see what I'll offer up for the taking then.

Good Luck ... and once you're done leaving me a comment, head back to Bloggy Giveaways to find more great stuff.

But, before you go ... don't forget to check out my other giveaways.  One being added everyday this week:

Monday, Day #1 - Target Gift Card ($50 value) - WINNER Karla (gmail.com)

Tuesday, Day #2 - Six Pair of Beaded Socks (a $30 value) - WINNER - Michelle Corning

Wednesday, Day #3 - Autumn Home Decor Grab Bag (a $50 value) - Erin Read

Thursday, Day #4 - McDonalds Gift Card ($20 value) - WINNER - Stephanie (united.com)

Friday, Day #5 - High School Musical 3 CD ($15.00 value) - WINNER - Jesica

It's Time Again To Share ...

lots and lots of stuff.  While normally ... I participate in Bloggy Giveaways and I give one thing away ... this time around I'm feeling especially "givey".  Is that a word?

Yes.

Why?

Because I said so.  Okay?

Hey ... do you want to win something or what?  Okay then.

Next week, starting on Monday ... at APPROX. 8am (because you know, Melanie might have to cut up her kids pancakes, or wipes someone's butt, or might just decide to sleep in and keep me pressing the reload button over and over) I will post the first of 5, COUNT THEM FIVE, contests for the week. 

You all know that I give a way good crap, right?

Make sure you check in ALL FIVE DAYS ...

Just wanted to give you a heads up.

It's All About Big Daddy

In honor of Big Daddy's birthday today, I thought I'd do a meme that Jill did a while back and I never got around to doing it.

Happy Birthday Big Daddy!

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? Usually sports.  College football.  That or something that I've insisted on watching.  And we all know by now, that it's easier to give into my constant nagging about something than to endure the constant gripes.  Right?

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch. 

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Peas.  His PaPa had a favorite story he'd always tell.  When Big Daddy would return from grade school his PaPa would ask, "What did you have for lunch?" and Big Daddy would respond, "PEAS, PaPa, just peas!"

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? Tangerai and Tonic

5. Where did he go to high school? In New Albany, Indiana.  They were the Bulldogs.  And he insists they were much tougher than the Kewpies.

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10.  I think.  Or a 10 1/2.  Obviously, I don't buy his shoes.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?  Autographed Drew Brees Merchandise.  And quarters.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? God, I'm a sucky wife.  I don't know.  He eats PB & J a lot.  And turkey with swiss and bacon.

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? "If He Could?" ... HE DOES.  A bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios ... every.single.morning.

10. What is his favorite cereal? Raisin Bran.  I know.  Don't ask about the Cheerios every morning.  We are strange, strange people.

11. What would he never wear?  A Cardinals Shirt or hat or ANYTHING.

12. What is his favorite sports team? College Football = Purdue; NFL = Cowboys (Saints for Drew Brees); Baseball = Cubs

13. Who will he vote for?  I can guarantee it will **not** be Obama.

14. Who is his best friend? Me!  It better be.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?  Leave my clothes on the floor when the hamper is just two feet away.  That and drink too much beer.

16. How many states has he lived in?  Indiana.  Texas.  Illinois.  Iowa.

17. What is his heritage? German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?  Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.

19. Did he play sports in high school? Yes. Football (Quarterback); Baseball (Catcher?)

20. What could he spend hours doing?  Groping me.  Or watching football.  Or groping me while watching football.  :)

I tag EVERYONE reading.  This is fun!

L-A-Z-Y

I don't know what my problem is ... I can't get my ass up out of this chair for anything.  Well, that's a lie.  I got up to make Molly and myself some lunch, but other than that ... I'm planted.  A list a mile long awaits me.  Not only is it waiting for me ... it's hanging over my head.

Actually making me feel a bit guilty.  And that doesn't happen very often.

However, even guilt isn't motivating me.  Because if it was, I'd be doing something.

And I'm not.

I haven't even showered today.  That's right.  PJ's are still on.  It's NOON!

So, tell me.  What do you do when you just can't get motivated and you NEED TO?

Is This Fair?

There is a lot going on out there in Bloggyville.  Most of which is 'politics related'.  Well, I DO have a very strong view and opinion of what's going on ... but refuse to discuss it here.

The best advice given to me, that was just given to me tonight is ... DON'T DISCUSS POLITICS WITH YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS OR BLOGGYVILLE.

I don't know that I'll be able to do that, after all, my opinion is out there ... because I can't let some comments go ... but I promised Big Daddy that I wouldn't blog about it. 

It's hazardous to my health ... REALLY! 

So ... rather than getting political ... tell me ...

IS THIS FAIR? 

Halloween is coming?  Would you do this to your pet?

6 - 6 - ...

Well, that's kinda scary ... but I trust Paula, who tagged me to do this.  I normally don't do meme's but this one sparked my curiosity because I wondered which picture would come up if I did it.

So, I was asked to go to my pictures on my computer.  Pick the 6th folder and then the 6th picture and post it.

This was mine:

This was kinda fun ... so I'm tagging everyone who is reading.  And if you do it, please let me know when you comment so that I can come and take a peek.

Spoiled, Loved Or Pure Defeat - #10

Well, it's obvious the floor has been completed.  As you can see the girls find it to be quite the dance floor.  I asked them to stop running and dancing around repeatedly, but they didn't listen.  Of course.  I'll never admit it, but after the 14th time of asking them to stop, I secretly fantasized about one of them falling off the edge into the grass ... just so I could stick my tongue out with my fingers waving from my ears and yell, "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"

Before my fantasy could become reality, those efficient workers we hired had a stinkin' railing up.  How dare they?  Since when does anything actually get done before I WANT it to.

Looks pretty good though, doesn't it?  I suppose their forgiven.  Well, maybe not forgiven, as they did RUIN my dream of rubbing something in my girls faces, but I decided we'd go ahead and pay them ...

... when the job is done.  Which it's not quite finished, but there is only one more step.

For all photos, click here.

A Miracle Has Actually Happened

I'm not kidding.  I am getting ready to tell you something that many of you will not believe.  Well, you may believe it, but you shouldn't ... or at the very least you should be surprised ... because this crap NEVER happens.

Are you ready?  Are you bracing yourself?  Ya know what?  You should probably just go ahead and sit down. 

Okay.

Here goes.

Big Daddy and I ....

went out of town this weekend.

The whole weekend.

BY OURSELVES!

Which is the equivalent of NO STINKIN' KIDS!

None.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nada.

Gosh, I almost don't believe it myself ... but I was there.  So I know it happened.  Unless I was dreaming ...

No.  I know I was really there.  I have a suitcase full of dirty clothes here to prove it.

This is only the second time in our eleven years of marriage that we've gone somewhere ... just the two of us.  We've gone on a few trips without the kids, but we always went with other couples, never just US!  And this weekend we did.

It was just a weekend trip to Minneapolis, but it was nice.  On Friday night we had a company party for Big Daddy's work.  It was very fun and we both had a great time.  I had never met a lot of his co-workers in the MN office, so now having faces to put with names is fabulous.

On Saturday we headed to the Mall Of America since I've never been there.  It was awesome.  We didn't do a lot of the stuff the mall has to offer because I'm really wanting to bring the kids back and experience it with them.  At about 11am we found ourselves enjoying football games, along with wings ... and beer (a bloody mary for Big Daddy) at Hooters.  You all know I LOVE LOVE LOVE Hooters.  Then we walked.  And walked.  And walked.  It was a lot of fun.  Afterward, we headed back to the hotel and scanned the local yellow pages for places nearby that we could hit.

We made our way to three, having a drink at the first two and dinner at the last.  Then, being the great, awesome party-goers that we are ... we headed back to the hotel and flipped on the Saturday night football game, flopped into bed and were both asleep by nine.

And we loved every minute of it.

And now that I'm home, sitting in the middle of chaos with the kids screaming and running about, I realize just how much.

A Glimpse Into The Future

Okay.  I really don't know what to say about this.  Last night Big Daddy went up to check on the girls before we retired for the evening. 

HA! 'retired for the evening'. 

Who the hell do I think I am? 

Because I'm not someone who would 'retire for the evening'.

But ... I have a feeling ...

that maybe ... just maybe ...

Emily will be.

Take a look at this.

Yeah ... this is what Big Daddy found ...

before our exhausted asses fell into bed.

We are so screwed for the next 13 years, aren't we?

It's Hard Being So Popular

This afternoon there was a fly zooming around our house and I couldn't make contact with it using my fly swatter to save my own ass.  I'm sure it was comical watching me try.  But, that little fu ... fly escaped my wacks every single stinkin' time.

So, I did what any tired, cranky mother would do.

I gave up.

The thing could take up residency here if it wanted ... and invite his whole extended family.

I just no longer cared.

However, if they decided to move on in ... I'm sure they'd be anxious to move on out in a jiffy once they got a taste of life around here.

That is so beside the point.  What I'm wanting to share with you is ...

A few minutes later I join Molly in the living room to check my email.  She kept waving her hands around her face and then finally she sighed ...

"Aaahh, that pesky fly.  He keeps flying around me because he wants me to play with him.   And I just don't want to play right now." 

And then let out the biggest groan I've ever heard in my life. 

Yes, THE BIGGEST.

I'm sure she rolled her eyes too, but her back was to me so I can't be sure.

Heaven forbid she be bothered ...

by the fly ...

who wants to play with her.

What a brat.

And that's the point I was trying to make.

Spoiled, Loved Or Pure Defeat - #9

So ... the frame is up.  Do you know how hard it is for one to walk on the small support beams and frame of a deck?

Well.  It is.  At least for me.  Even with absolutely no alcohol involved.  Really.  Let's just say that I would never have scored a 10 on the balance beam if I were a gymnast.  Actually, I'd probably do better if I were drinking ...

Really.

That being said, we decided we'd go ahead and lay the remaining lumber and create a floor.  After all, we wouldn't want me to fall and break leg, therefore me needing a cast causing me not be able to enjoy this whole ensemble that I spent so much time and effort badgering Big Daddy for ... now would we?

And don't get me wrong.  By "WE" I mean "THEY" because Big Daddy and I are too stupid to do anything like this.  I mean, I can tell you what I want when it comes to a deck.  Big Daddy can write the check for it (even though his hand shakes ridiculously while doing so) ... but someone else has to actually build it. 

 

Oh I guess I'm not really being nice.  Big Daddy can do some of it.  He moved the sod and rock, right?  My Big Man!  I am just as proud of my Big Daddy as I am the men who actually built the deck ... because so far, we are VERY pleased!

For all the photos, click here.

Again? Already? Really?

I'm serious.  It CAN NOT be possible that my first born baby girl is having another birthday. 

It Can't.

Can it?

Can she really be FIVE?  Emily?  Already?  Excuse me while I go cry into my ...

Pepsi?