The days leading up to the first day of school, and the actual day itself is full of so many emotions. I feel like I'm back at Adventureland and thrown on the ride full of loopdy loops and steeps hills.
One moment I feel on top of world, and the next I've plummeted to the bottom of my existence. I thought I'd share the rainbow of emotions I've experienced in the past 48 hours.
Exhaustion - As the end of summer rolls around, after several vacations and thousands of miles traveled, I was just down right tired. I was so tired that the mere thought of the boys beginning school was like watching a bunny run through a meadow full of wild flowers with birds chirping overhead.
Overwhelmed - Once I had snapped into reality, I realized that registration forms needed to be filled out and fees paid, not to mention a bazillion dollars worth of school supplies to be purchased. Trying to accomplish all of this with 4 small children (which equals 8 little hands) (which then equals 40 curious fingers) was down right wrong. As I entered the aisle at the local super-mart with the big "Back To School" sign hanging from the ceiling just overhead, I felt as though I'd been thrown into a huge patch of quick sand, amongst millions of mothers and crying children ... and I was sinking ... fast!
Anticipation - Once the inconceivable feat had been accomplished, there was nothing left to do except sit back and await the day. The beautiful day which called itself August 16. This day was not significant only because it was the anniversary of Elvis Presley's death ... it was much more important. August 16th marked the very first day of school for my boys. The day, which was "tomorrow" at this point, felt as though it would never arrive.
Excitement - I woke up this morning full of excitement. I whistled in the kitchen as I prepared breakfast, even though it was a hour and a half earlier than I had gotten into the habit of rising for the day. I kissed each one of my children on the top of their little heads with a smile, despite their moans, groans and cries about having to go to school. The big day was here ... WHOOO HOOOO!
Apprehension - Once it was a known fact my boy's attitudes were not going to improve I quickly became very nervous about them leaving me and being under the supervision of their new teachers. I silently prayed they would behave the way I expected them to. Even though I expect it, it's never a guarantee.
Sad - Watching them board the big yellow bus, my heart fluttered a bit. It drove past the house, as I stood in the driveway waving, but my goodbyes were not returned, as neither boy was paying one bit of attention to me. They were already focused on their friends and discussing something inappropriate, I'm sure. That's all that the bus rides usually consist of. A small lump formed in my throat as I fought back a few tears. Tears made up of sadness and pride.
Lonely - I entered the house and the two girls were still in position, eyes glued to Dora the Explorer. As I began to climb the stairs to take my shower, I realized the boys weren't here to keep an eye on the girls as I bathed. I felt very alone ... and I didn't like it.
Anxious - The girls and I filled our day with a trip to the mall, which included some time in the little indoor play area as well lunch in the cafe court. From the moment we returned home, I felt a little anxious waiting for the clock to display the number 4:22, informing me the boys would be dropped off at any time. I couldn't wait to see them and hear all about their first day of school.
Relief - The girls and I waited and I watched intently as they stepped off the bus. Their smiles reassured me that they were okay. Of course they were. My boys are in 2nd and 4th grade and have attended the same school since the very beginning, with all the same children. Why wouldn't they have been okay? However, I was honestly happy they were now home with me.
Pure Contentment - As we finished our after school snack and I tried every trick in the book to get them to share some small portion of their day with me, to no avail. However, I was honestly happy they were now home with me.
Thankful - The dishes were being put away, and I began to start dinner. Both boys complained about what we would be eating once hubby arrived home. I shooed them away to leave me in the kitchen to prepare the meal. They fought all the way down the stairs over who would be player 1 on the Game Cube and I smiled ... so very thankful that they would be going to school again tomorrow!
