An Iowa Mom

The Ultimate High Five

OMG - I do not know what kind of children I am raising.  The following event is taking place in my home, right now ... with my sweet, darling daughters. You know, the 4 year old and 2 year old.

I think this is called LIVE BLOGGING.  But, I'm not that cool or hip ... so I'm not totally for sure.

Molly was rolling around on the ottoman.  Emily wanted her to stop.  Molly didn't stop.  Emily pushed Molly off the ottoman.

I saw the whole thing.

Me:  Emily.  You come with me RIGHT NOW.  You are sitting in time out for pushing your sister.  We DO NOT PUSH.  Is that clear?

Emily:  Yes Mamn.

Molly:  Good job, Mom.  Give me a high five.

Emily (from time out):  That is WRONG.  You should not high five because I'm in time out.

Silence ... because we don't talk to the one in time out, while they are in time out.

Emily singing to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star:  Like a diamond in the sky.  I wish my sister would just die.

Me ... about falling out of my chair:  EMILY.  We DO NOT talk like that.

Emily:  I'm not talking .  I'm singing.  And, how long am I going to be in time out anyway?

Silence ... because we don't talk to the one in time out, while they are in time out.

Molly (standing in front of Emily with her hands on her hips):  3 HOURS!

Emily (bawls).  You know that bawl with the mouth WIDE OPEN.

Molly (walking away with hands on her hips):  Or 20 HOURS!

Emily (bawls louder).

Me:  Could you all slow down?  I am trying to blog this and can't type that fast.

Prizes! Who Wants Prizes?

Thank you so much to everyone who left those fantastic ideas on my Double Digits post.  My thought was to choose a winner by selecting the poster who's ingenious idea I actually used.  Well, there were so many, and I believe that I'll be using a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  So, I will RANDOMLY be selecting a post and announce him/her as the winner.

While this is a fairly easy task, I'm finding it impossible, because at the moment, there is a 2 year old laying on me, with a fever, cough and vomiting.  Good times.  This is what makes motherhood grand. 

Ugh!  NOT!

Anyway, Molly finally came down with the full fledged "yuckies" and is demanding (and that is an understatement) every moment I'm physically able to give her.  So, when I get her down for some sleep, I will post the winner.  I know you can barely contain yourselves, huh?

Sorry to make you wait.  I'm a loser like that.

But I am very thankful for all of your fantastic ideas.  I think this will be a party Jake will remember for a long long time.

On another note, since I'm completely inapt, and unable to bestow the title of WINNER on anyone, head over to Iowa Geek.  She is holding her monthly scrap-bribing contest again and it's full of fabulous summer stuff.  And ... she is more on top of things than I am ... so she won't delay ... keeping you all on pins and needles, like me.

Really!

She's not nearly the loser that I am.

So, while you wait for me to get my act together, get on over there and leave her a comment and you'll be entered to win ... and please don't forget to tell her that An Iowa Mom sent you.

Oh, and I have to share that this this post took me almost a hour to type with Molly laying on me like a bump on a log.  HA!

Double Digits

Only one more week until Jake turns 10.  TEN!  TEN YEARS OLD. 

My Baby.

Gosh, my heart aches just thinking of him being 10.  Double Digits.  I can still remember when I turned 10.  And that was a LONG time ago.

But not too long.  Ahem.

Every year we promise Jake a party.  Something fun.  Invite all your friends and we'll have a good time.  He makes out a list.  He gets excited.

Baseball starts.

Football starts.

Soccer starts.

The party is forgotten.

Jake never complains.

THIS year, we are not going to let it slide by.  No way.  This is double digit year.  This is big time.  Right?

He asked to have 10 friends sleep over.

Oh dear Lord, help me please.

I agreed.  We'd have a Wii Party.  A tournament, of sorts.  That they'll win prizes (party favors).   And we'll have lots of fun.

While normally I'd like to think of myself as fairly creative, I don't feel like it right now.

I don't know what 10 year old boys like.  I'm envisioning them all being bored.  Wondering why in the heck Jake invited them over.  Wishing their mother's would appear to bring them home.

SOoooo ....

I need YOU ALL!  Some ideas please.

As in:

• What to serve to eat.
• How to plan the tournament.
• What to give as prizes.
• How to decorate.

HELP!  This is my FIRST 10 year old. 

Who hasn't had a party or celebration in 3 years.

I want this to be special.  But I can't do it alone ...

Ideas please!!

Give me your thoughts and I'll enter you into a contest to win a special something.  I'm not telling you what it is ... because this is all about surprises ... but I'm sure you won't be disappointed. 

Just leave a comment to be entered.  And I'm not saying that there will be just ONE winner.

Comments will close at 9pm on Monday.  Winner(s) announced on Tuesday!

Good Luck.  I just know with you all on my side, this will be the best party EVER!

Waterpark, Sam's Club ... What's The Difference?

This week is our Spring Break.  We made plans to visit an indoor hotel waterpark about an hour or so away.  This mini-vacation was planned back in December and the kids have been looking forward to it with much excitement.

We didn't go. 

Why you ask?

Well, as you know I'm the meanest mother on the planet.  Well, maybe not the planet, but for sure the meanest in the state of Iowa. 

It was either that or the fact the entire freakin' family had to come down with the flu ...

So, while we are supposed to have gone here:

The ONLY place we've ventured out to this week is here:

And my children had the nerve to complain.  GEEZ!  Can't they just be happy that I brought them SOMEWHERE?

Ungrateful little boogers!

Is It Me?

Or do my kids just enjoy being mean to me?  Their mom.  The one who gave them life.  Maybe it's payback for me tormenting them on occasion.  Rare. occasion. 

But, that's my prerogative?

My right at a mother.

To torment my children, correct?  I think it's in my job description.  I'm pretty sure anyway.

Oh well, that's beside the point, because they are just being cruel to me.  Down right mean.

Like at the hospital with Emily.

Tonight, I was gleefully preparing them dinner.  (Yeah, right, "gleeful" is definitely not a word to describe myself ... especially when I'm slaving over a hot stove making a meal at least three of the four rug rats won't even eat). 

Anyway, I'm pretending to be "gleeful" ... so I was belting out a little tune.  You know, the kind that one uses their best opera voice and makes up the words that pertain to their children.  If you haven't tried this ... you should ... it is SO.MUCH.FUN.

However, while I was entertaining my children with my lovely singing voice (just so you know, even I am laughing as I type this) ... Jake utters: "My gosh, I'd rather have scissors jabbed in my ears, than listen to this."

Drew then chimed in with, "I'd use the scissors to CUT OFF my ears, it's so bad!"

That's nice.

I spit in their food.

Brats!

DISCHARGE - Can Be Such A Sweet Word If Used In The Right Context

Miss Thing has been discharged from the hospital and will be home within the hour.  No fever since midnight. 

Of course, she didn't eat ANYTHING the entire time we were there.  Now that she has been released, lunch showed up as they were walking out ... and low and behold she insists on staying and eating it.  HA!  Leave it to Emily to irritate the hell out of you even when you're feeling sorry for her because she's sick.

Big Daddy says that she is VERY grumpy and will probably want to sleep when she returns, but at least she'll be HOME.

And then ... I can carry on with my regular scheduled blogging.

Thanks again to everyone for your well wishes.  I read them all to Emily and when I do, she just beams.  I don't know what it is, but she sure loves Bloggyville.

I can't say I blame her.

Perfect Timing

This afternoon the nurse was in the room taking Emily's temperature and I was standing by Emily's side to assist.  Yeah, I know there is nothing I can do and the nurse has it completely under control ... but appease me by thinking that I am of SOME SORT of help here.  Okay?

Anyway, as the nurse is pulling the thermometer out of her ear, Emily announces, "Mommy, you don't look very beautiful at all today.  You must be having a bad day, huh?"

Thanks, dear!  Glad you were feeling well enough to notice.

--> Update:  No vomiting since yesterday.  Also, refuses to eat since yesterday, with the exception of 5 bites of chocolate pudding.  Taking in very little drink on her own.  Temperature is coming up at 102 as of right now, so things are a little better.   Don't know if they will let us go home today or if we'll be here another night.  We'll see!

Oh ... and good Lord, Big Daddy wants me to add that he is doing all the laundry while at home and I'm here with Emily.  Why is it that men need so much praise for doing the little things that we do on a daily basis with no recognition at all?

Just kidding, Big Daddy ... I really do appreciate it.  Now get back to folding and putting it all away ... I hate that part.