An Iowa Mom

Can You Say Addicition?

We own a Leapster.

A Leapster.

As in singular.

One.

Uno.

Well, that's a lie.  Now we actually own two. 

Why?  There are a number of reasons:

• Because I'm weak. 
• Because I couldn't take the fighting anymore. 
• Because Emily's whine is down right the most annoying sound in the universe.

Okay ... here is the short version of the story.  We are participating in a city wide garage sale this weekend.  I've been going through EVERYTHING in this house.  A Leapster was discovered.  I replaced dead batteries.  It's Drew's.  He wanted to play it.  So did Emily.  Did I mention it's Drew's Leapster?  So Drew played it.  And Emily cried.  A LOT!

I reasoned with her.  I explained to her.  I begged her.  I pleaded with her.  I broke down.  I gave in.  I got in the car.  I went to Walmart (because I wanted to use my bags.  HA!).  I purchased a new Leapster.  The End.

My question is:  How long can one play a Leapster before their head explodes?

Just wondering ... so that I'm prepared.  I want to have all the cleaning supplies ready and everything. 

Big Daddy would be so proud.  Just don't tell him ... I don't want him to think I'm capable of cleaning anything.  It will blow the cover on this scam I've been running all these years.  However, if Emily's head does happen to explode ... I'll clean it up.  Or call somebody to do it.

Just so long as I'm prepared.

Tell It Like It Is

The other day, this paper came home in Drew's folder.  YES, I know it's dated back in November ... but I told Drew to clean out his desk as he looked for an overdue library book.  Maybe that's why this paper finally made it's way to our house.

His answer cracked me up.  It's typical Drew.  And I love it ... almost as much as I love him.

What the heck ... where in the world did all this sappiness come from? That is so unlike me.  I'll have to get myself back in check.  In the meantime, bear with me.

And NO ... we didn't find the library book!

I Wish I'd Had a Tape Recorder

This morning I was feeling particularly nice.  Awaking on the right side of the bed will do that to you.  Normally I wake up on the left side and am a total bitch.  Ha ha ... on the left, instead of the wrong ... I crack myself up.  NOT REALLY!

Anyway, because I was in such a chipper mood (please note the word WAS ... my kids are such a buzz kill), I decided to drive my boys to school, rather than them riding the school bus.  This gives them about 20 more minutes at home ... to do what they like to do.  Ya know, whatever that is ... torment their little sisters, lose library books, mess up my clean kitchen ... yadda yadda.

As we pull up to the school, the boys emerged from the very back of the suburban, pushing past the girls legs that they refuse to lift up making life a little easier on all of us.  I hop out of the vehicle, to open the door for them, because it's child locked ... for obvious reasons.  Most people flip that little switch on the door as a PRECAUTION ... I flip it as a NECESSITY as both Drew and Molly have managed to open their door WHILE WE WERE DRIVING.  Not joking. Good times.

So, as the boys jump out, I smile and kiss Drew on the top of his head and tell him to have a good day.  And he's off.  Then Jake appears and I smile again (remember I'm in a good mood) and I mumble that I know better, and I won't touch him, let alone hug and kiss him.

He says ... GET THIS ... "That's okay, Mom!  You can hug me."

HA!  My fourth grade boy said that to me IN FRONT OF HIS SCHOOL.

WHILE OTHER CHILDREN WERE BEING DROPPED OFF.

So, I hugged him ... as my heart exploded and bounced all over the No Parking Fire Zone drive thru in front of the school.

And that's not all, as he was walking toward the door, he called out, "Love you!"

After I picked myself up off the sidewalk, I raced home, a little lightheaded, to write this post ... just to be sure I document this day.  I'm sure it will be a once in a lifetime. 

I promise, I didn't slip anything into his cereal bowl this morning.   

Pinky swear!

Yes, No ... Maybe So?

If I swapped out the white candles for a deep red, do you think this could work? 

I know most of you went for putting a piece of art work up there, but it just wouldn't work.  The ceiling is too low and the hole too wide, therefore, making it difficult to find something that would fit.  A lot of you suggested a TV there ... but mine is already here. 

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about ... I'm referring to this.

So ... YES?  NO?  Maybe so?

A Renter For Life?

On Saturday morning a trip to the bank was made. 

Why you ask?

It wasn't for a loan.  Or to pull money out of savings to buy me some new living room furniture.  Not a chance.  Big Daddy is sooooo mean like that.

We had to go to the bank to deposit birthday money that Molly received as gifts.  There is a rule at our house, if you are lucky enough to score a gift card for your big day, you can spend it.  If cold hard cash is tucked away inside your card ... into your savings account it must go.

Sad but true. 

So anyway, as we sat in the car in the bank parking lot, Emily was griping that she couldn't go inside the bank with Big Daddy and Molly.  Another rule.  Only Big Daddy and the owner of the moo-laa, go inside.  Aren't we great?  We try to make handing over their birthday stash as exciting as possible.  Who wouldn't want us as parents?

Emily:  NO FAIR!  Molly is going to get a sucker and I won't.

Me:  It's Molly's special day.  Your day will come.  Don't worry.

Emily:  Why does Molly have to give her money to the bank anyway?

Me:  She's not GIVING it to the bank.  The bank is holding it for her.  Someday, when you kids are older, you'll have lots of money saved up and you can use it for something GREAT!

Emily:  GREAT?  Like what?

Me:  Well, when you're 16, you might want to buy a car.

Emily:  No, I won't want to do that.  I don't want a car.  I just want my money to buy horses at Target.

Me:  Sorry. 

Emily:  <BIG GROAN accompanied by an eye roll> Why is it that a four year old has this down already?  That's just not right!

Me:  If you don't want a car, maybe you'll continue to save and when you turn 18 or 20 or 25, you'll want to buy a house.

Emily:  I can't buy a house, silly, it would be way too heavy to carry.

Okay then, I suppose we should go withdraw all your money and buy all the horses at Target.  Right after you eat that sucker you're sweet little sister brought out to the car for you.

It's That Time Again, Already?

The months tend to go by so quickly.  My mother warned me this would happen.  She did.  She said the older I got, the faster time would fly by.  She was right. 

Oh my God, I can't believe I just said that. 

Not only did I say it, I wrote it.  Geez Louise.  I must be getting old.  There is no other explanation.

Anyway, I can't believe that it's Scrap Bribing Time already ... over at Iowa Geek.  Whether I believe it or not ... it's here.

It's HERE I tell you!

So, if you're interested in this:

A Cosmo Cricket Biography 101 Scrapbook, which also doubles as a shadowbox.

Along with this:

A pad of patterned paper along with stickers and die-cuts.

You better get over here and enter to win.  It could all be yours.

Don't forget to tell her that An Iowa Mom sent you.  That part is important.  Really important.  Really.

Good Luck!

A New Napping Technique

This is what you will find when you FORGET that you've placed your newly turned three year old in the naughty spot ...

You would think I would have felt bad.  Or guilty.  But I was actually excited.  She NEVER takes a nap anymore and this would give me a few ME TIME minutes.

Can you say "LOSER MOM"?

Come on, all together now ... LOSER MOM!

There ya go.