An Iowa Mom

Don't Come Between A Girl And Her Strawberries

Yesterday morning, Big Daddy stepped out onto the deck and discovered this:

Yeah, that cute little bunny rabbit.  WHO'S EATING ALL MY STRAWBERRIES IN THE GARDEN.  Big Daddy has threatened to put this little cutie to rest, permanently, but he's a big pile of mush and will probably never be able to follow through with his threat.  We left Big Daddy alone with his thoughts and I took the kids upstairs to get cleaned up for the day.

Emily:  Where's Daddy?

Drew:  Outside killing the rabbit.

Emily:  The rabbit?  Oh no. (tears begin to flow)

Me:  The rabbit is eating all of our strawberries.

Emily:  OUR strawberries?  The ones we eat in the summertime?

Me:  Yes.

Emily:  Kill him.  Kill the rabbit right now.

Yeah, she's all heart.

Win Some, Lose Some

Well, I'd say I did a hell of a job keeping you all updated throughout the weekend, didn't I?

HA!

I was lazy. 

That is my only excuse. 

Sitting at the ball park eating hot dogs and drinking cold coca-cola, set my mood for the evening, when I moved to the hotel pool and switched to pizza and beer.  For once, my computer was the furthest thing from my mind.

But, we're home now, and life is back to normal.  Kids are screaming.  House is a mess.  Laundry is piled up.  My head is already pounding and it's only 9am.

Aahhh, home sweet home.

As for the games, I bet you'd rather have the brief run down, rather than a play by play anyway, huh?

Jake's team got 4th place at the tournament. 

There ya go.

It was a good time had by all.  I'll pay for it today and tomorrow, as the girls are BEYOND tired and are pretty close to ripping each other's hair out ...

Humph, that might make for a good video for you all later.

Until then, since I shared Drew's baseball video, I promised Jake I'd share a clip of him making the winning run in the first game (it's not for most, but this is a big deal for Jake).  He has been working hard on his secondary lead, and he executed it well in this case ... HAWKS WIN!  Video is only 20 seconds long.

By the way, I have a love hate relationship with fences.

AND ... like Drew's, it's NOT me screaming in the video.  Also, sorry about the quality, I tried to compress it to make the file smaller and I haven't quite mastered the process yet.

On The Road Again

A repeat performance of last year, we've packed up our family and headed west, for Jake's baseball tournament.  While we only went 2 hours west ... we went west none-the-less. 

And being the insane parents that we are, leaving a day early to spend some "family" time together, sounded like a good idea.

Did our parents not teach us anything?  Oh wait, they did.  My mom told me to stop having kids ... but it was my job to NOT LISTEN.  Damn it!

I'll spare you the details, as I fully understand that you have your own problems.  But I wanted to share a photo from the hot tub ... any guesses what Jake is saying as I snap the photo?

I think it was, "STOP RUNNING!" 

No wait.  That was me.  For some reason I JUST CAN'T STOP SAYING THAT TONIGHT!  Whether it be at the pool, restaurant or hotel room.  It just keeps coming out.

And I think STOP RUNNING are the only two words that my children have the inability to hear this evening.  Go figure!

Anyway, of course, I can't go more than two hours without being "connected".  So, I may be at a 10 year old baseball tournament, but I'm still HERE.  And I'll keep you updated on how our "Hawks" do.

STOP RUNNING!

Sorry!  I must be on a loop.

Pay It Forward Friday - Week #1

Welcome to the very first "PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY", I hope that you find some new blogs that you won't be able to get through the day without.

Today I want to share a blog that I found a few weeks ago and I really enjoy reading.  It's called ...

THE BRAT PACK - Amy is the creator of this funny little place in Bloggyville and since I've been reading, it's rare that I close out without a smile on my face.  She is a mother of four girls and loves the Houston Astros (and I still like her).  I can't give you a favorite post, because I truly enjoy them all.

Head over to see what THE BRAT PACK is up to.  Then come back to see what all of our participants below are reading (I know this is week #1, but there better be at least one other participant besides me).

Want to join in on PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY - I personally invite you to do so.  Just take a peek at the rules and don't forget to come back and sign Mr. Linky below.

Or don't, because I am a moron and can't figure out how to get it to work.  If anyone out there knows how to get the Mr. Linky header script to work in Typepad, I'd love for you to clue me in.

For now, just leave your info in the comments section.  Your name and link to your Pay It Forward Friday post.

Let's Pay It Forward

Every now I then I run across a blog, that's not on my normal blogroll, that I just connect with.  You know, when you read two or three entries and truly stay interested and engrossed in what the author is saying.  I then add them to my blogroll and wish that everyone knew about the little secret I just discovered.

I decided it would be fun to have a day where everyone joined in and posted about a blog they enjoy and want to share with their readers. 

And that it should be on Friday, because that gives people a list of good reading material for the weekend, when many bloggers don't update.

We are going to call it PAY IT FORWARD FRIDAY!  Cool?

Want to play?  I would really love you to.

Here are the rules.  Get your posts ready for tomorrow.  I'll put up the Mr. Linky at midnight tonight CDT.

A Long Awaited Sign

Emily came and surprised me a few days ago with a long awaited sign of Spring.

And I must say, it smells glorious.  After she picked the first lilac, we grabbed the scissors and snipped several more and brought them indoors, where the fragrance from the pretty vase continues to fill our kitchen.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Spring has finally arrived.  It was a long time comin' this year.

That's for sure. 

Someone must have snitched that I was looking for her, because there for awhile I thought I was going to have to go kick Mother Nature's ass. 

Baby Steps

I never thought I'd be talking about this. 

I never thought I'd be blogging about this.

I never thought I'd be feeling like this.

I never thought I'd BE like this.

And what is this?

I feel crazy.

I feel angry.

I feel out of control.

I feel sad.

I feel lonely.

I feel irritable. 

I feel like a failure.

I don't feel like ME!

I feel like crying ... all of the time.

Even during happy times.

And I went to the doctor.

And I talked.

We talked.

For a long time.

About a lot of things.

And she thinks I'm "depressed".

DEPRESSED.

What is that?

To me, depressed is when your high school boyfriend breaks up with you ...

or when ...

your manuscript that you've been working on for a year is rejected ... over and over and over again ...

or even when ...

you screw up the gravy on Thanksgiving Day when several family members are counting on it to moisten the dry turkey you've served ... with a smile.

A fake smile.

And usually a hidden and disguised tear.

Depressed is not a word to describe me.

Not ME!

Not the person whose eyes open to the daylight, only to shut them again wishing the day would never come.

Not the person who wishes it weren't "playgroup" day so she wouldn't have to force the smile she didn't mean, and chat with the other moms, as she watches her children misbehave and rip toys out of the hands of others.

Not the person who snaps at her children after they call her name 25 times to ask her the same question over and over again, just because they want to carry on a conversation with her.

Not the person who beats herself up over the fact that she can't complete her 'to do' list each day.

Not the person who cooks her family a meal every evening and sits at the table discussing the day without ever taking a bite.

Or the person who doesn't sleep at night, rather she lies awake and worries about everything under the sun, including what to plant in the vegetable garden and what snacks to pack for a weekend trip to a baseball tournament.

Does that sound like a person who is "depressed"?

Yeah. 

I guess all the signs were there.  Have been there.  For over a year now.  I justified them as being in a little slump.  I've got four little kids for crying out loud.  Of course I should feel like this.  Or it was the weather, all that rain and snow would have anyone down in the dumps.  I was strong.  I could overcome it on my own.

But I couldn't.

So I gave in and made the call.

Not really knowing what to say, I admitted that I needed help.  I couldn't just "get over it" all by myself.

My family was suffering because of it.

They were suffering because I was suffering.  And while I could put myself through that day by day ... I couldn't do that to my husband and children.

Even I am not that selfish.

Where does one go from here?

I don't know, really ... but I know now that I'm going to find out. 

The first step has been taken.