Yesterday evening Jake was up the street playing a backyard ball game. He had been gone a while and I wanted to check in on him. However, those of you with 10 year old boys know that you CAN NOT actually go to where your child is playing, or else later you'll hear:
"Oh my God, Mom, you totally embarrassed me by ... WALKING BY!"
So I walked by.
And waved.
I know what you're thinking ... that I'm a mean ol' bat. But, I'm not. I totally restrained from hollering "Hi Jakey!! Are you having fun with your little friends?" as I picked the underwear out of my butt crack while I strolled past.
I was close.
I thought about it.
But I didn't.
I promise.
A neighbor was out planting some new flowers so I casually made my way there to visit as I checked on Jake out of the corner of my eye.
Everything seemed fine. So, after a few words with my friend, I headed back home, just as one of the neighborhood girls attempted to join in their ball game. A few words were exchanged of how she couldn't play, because it would be unfair teams. You know, heaven forbid we break any mandatory and official rules of having an extra player in a backyard ball game.
A proud moment was among me. Jake spoke up, with the support of another.
"She can really wack the balls. I've seen her wack balls before. Lots of times." and everyone giggled.
I stopped dead in my tracks. Back peddled and called my darling son over to me. I no longer cared if I was embarrassing him or not. He rolled his baby blues and jogged over shaking his head trying to remain "cool".
Without even giving him a chance to speak, I scolded him for being so inappropriate. I reminded him that he represents this family when he's out, being welcomed into other people's homes and I expected him to be on his very best behavior.
He looked at me like I was a nut case. And while I very well may be ... I knew I was in the right on this. I wasn't going to back down. That kind of talk WOULD NOT be tolerated.
What did I get? Blank stare. "I was talking about her hitting the ball hard, Mom. She's a really good hitter."
The innocent, confused look in his eyes disappeared, and a small smile spread across his lips, as he realized what I thought he had meant ...
"But, that's a good one, Mom!"
I turned and casually walked away, and again contemplated picking the underwear out of my butt, picking my nose ... and maybe, just maybe, start belting out Barry Manilow's "You Light Up My Life".
I didn't.
But looking back ... I so should have.
