Let's go back a couple months. To June, when Jake was asked to bring a plain white shirt to school so they could tye-dye them for "Track and Field Day". Being the lazy and sometimes cheap mother that I am, I immediately thought of the white T-shirt, nestled snuggly in the back of the drawer, that Drew had worn once and then dripped chocolate down the front of it.
I handed it to Jake to put in his backpack, naturally impressed with myself to be sending a shirt only a day after it was requested. If one didn't know any better, you'd think I should be nominated for Mother of the Year.
"Ah, Mom?" Jake said, wrinkles forming in his forehead. "I think the sheet said a CLEAN, white T-shirt?"
"Yeah." I answered, trying to convince myself that I could fool him. "And? Why does it have to be stain-free, you're just going to tye-dye it, right?"
"Never mind!" Jake mumbled shaking his head.
I bet having me for a mother sucks.
So, the shirt was tye-dyed a cool shade of green, him and all his classmates wore them to distinguish their class from the others on the day they'd all compete in track and field events. Then, on one of the last days of school, they all sported them again and let their friends sign their names to them.
After that day, the shirt was forgotten. It found it's home again in the back of the dresser drawer.
Until last week, that is.
We were at the orthodontist, to discuss Jake's summer teeth. What exactly are summer teeth? Some 'er going this way, some 'er going that way. HA! I crack myself up.
So, as the doctor finishes checking him over, and explaining to me all that is going to be done, all the while seeing dollar signs dancing around in his head, he dismisses Jake and stands to shake my hand. As he maneuvers to shake Jake's however, Jake is already heading towards the door. And we see this:
Now, my mind is usually not in the gutter, just ask Big Daddy, but I couldn't help but think the worst when seeing this drawing. Now I know it's supposed to be a ball bat, but seriously ... if you just glanced at it, what would you think?
Yeah.
Judging from the look the doctor gave me, that's what he thought too!
There goes my Mother of the Year Award.
Damn it!
