An Iowa Mom

BREAKING NEWS: She Finally Gets It

Moments ago ... in our very own living room ... Emily had a break through.

A major one at that.

Some may even call it HUGE.

Ready?

Me:  Emily, please come in here and pick up these Jenga blocks.

Emily:  Okay Mom!

She hops down from her chair where she is coloring at the kitchen table and begins gathering blocks.  I, on the other had, think I had a mild stroke because she's never responded quite that quick.

Me:  Wow Emily, I'm so proud of you.  That is what I expect from you when I ask you to do something.  That is great.

Emily:  Yeah, well, I wanted to be really nice today because I'm sick of hearing you yell.

And people out there say screaming at your kids doesn't work. 

Guess I showed them, huh?

I'm Such A Liar

I promised I wouldn't share this photo with all my friends in Bloggyville.  I am obviously such a liar, but when I snuck up on him and managed to capture a second of this moment before he realized I was there ... I just knew it was something that I'd want to document so that I could blackmail him with it later.  You know, when I want him to accompany me to a dinner event that Big Daddy is unable to attend, but he wants to hang out with his girlfriend instead.

Can you picture it?

"Son, you either go with me and smile convincing everyone there that you WANT to be there with me, or I show your girlfriend THIS and she won't be your girlfriend anymore.  What's it gonna be?"

I'm sorry, Drew.  I had to do it.

Sleep and Make Up

Yesterday morning, my youngest daughter did the inconceivable.

The one thing a child never wants to do to her mother.

That one thing is PISS HER OFF.

For starters, the little booger didn't want to get out of the shower.  She had been in there for 20 minutes and when I asked her to get out, so that I could get in, she just looked at me from the floor of the stall without saying a word, using her hand to cover and then uncover the drain.

Now, our shower is not exactly large.  It's not one of those beautiful glass sanctuaries big enough for my entire family of six.  Even though, if I had one of those, you can be assured my hellions would not be allowed to come within 20 feet of it. 

It would be mine. 

All mine. 

We'd discuss whether or not Big Daddy could use it too.  Maybe on special occasions.  Like when he's cleaning it.  HA!

Okay, someone slap me back into reality.  I don't have one of those showers, and I never will.  I am telling you all a story about my little shower.

The one with the little girl in it that won't get out.

So, I did what any mother would do.

I got in.

And do you know what that brat said to me?

I don't think you want to know.

You will be outraged.  Not for yourself, but for me.  And if you aren't, you aren't my friend anymore. 

She crinkled up her nose, and whined ... "EEeeewwww, your body is yucky!"

Yes, my three year old informed me of this ...

LIKE I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW. 

Being the responsible and mature mom that you all know I am, I shot back, "Yeah, well, it's all because of you.  YOU did this to me.  YOU!  NOW GET OUT OF MY SHOWER!"

And I stewed about it for hours.

But then I forgave her.  And it's not all about that whole unconditional love deal ... it was because she made it up to me big time.

HUGE TIME.

By taking an afternoon nap for the first time in MONTHS!

 

Yup, that will do it.  That's all it took.

I suppose I'll keep her.

Can I Get A Little Help Here?

This afternoon, the children were all doing their daily household duties.  I hope you had a napkin handy to wipe the pop that just came spewing out of your nose.  And if it didn't, it should have.  Because my children doing their "daily household duties" is a joke these days. 

A real funny joke.

Actually more like a hysterical joke.

Anyway, that's beside the point.  As Emily was instructed to go up and tidy her room a bit (there were only groovy girls out, it's not like it was any huge job), she groaned as though I had just asked her to complete the inconceivable task of hugging her sister and holding her hand as they gingerly trot off to the swing set to play together. 

God, even I'm not THAT mean.  Close.  But not quite.

So, her instruction was to go upstairs and pick up the 6 groovy girls that were on her floor, put them in the cute little pink cube which is also sitting right there within arms reach of every single stinkin' doll, and I get ... "Why can't Drew do it?"

"Emily, they are not Drew's dolls.  Not his mess.  Not his responsibility.  Now go do it."

Emily placed a hand on each hip, as she moved all of her weight to her right foot, "Well .... Ruby helps Max clean his room!"

And this is where, Drew, the child who I swear NEVER listens to anything anyone says, especially when it has anything to do with cleaning up, interrupts with ... "Max & Ruby is a TV show.  They have to <use fingers as quotes> ACT </use fingers as quotes> as if they actually like each other and want to help each other out.  It's FICTION."

Poor Emily ... she lost that argument, didn't she?

Oh well, at least she tried.  I'm sure by the time she gets married, I'll have taught her the perfection of getting things done without actually having to do them.

Who Doesn't Love Free Stuff?

Have you noticed that a lot of my posts lately are about free things?  That's crazy. 

Crazy, I tell you.  It's almost to the point of OUT OF CONTROL.

Okay ... not really ...

But, I've got something else and if you like to get somethin' for nothin', you better listen up.

Pay attention.

On July 28 the infamous BLOGGY GIVEAWAYS CARNIVAL is going to take place.  If you're a long time blogger, then you're more than likely familiar with this awesome spectacle of bloggy love.  If it's all new to you ... then you better check it out.  It's truly amazing.  The amount of free stuff up for the giving is unbelievable.  Hundreds of bloggers, offering something for nothin' ...

I'm so pissed I didn't think of this myself.

It's that good.

It's that fun.

And schedule some time ... because it's very addicting.  You will easily spend hours upon hours entering for contest after contest.  Some of the prizes are out of this world.

So, put it on your calendar and play along. 

Good luck beating me ... I'm feeling lucky this year ... but you can stop back by and see what I'll be giving away.  I am hoping for something creative, but will be realistic and count on a gift card of sorts.

I'm a loser.  We all know that already.

Geez!

Can You Believe It?

If you are wondering about the pool ... which I know many of you are ...

Big Daddy ...

PULLED THE TRIGGER!

He did it!

We bought a pool. 

Now, I know Green3 hates above ground pools ... and we asked about an in-ground (because that is what Big Daddy really really really wanted), but doing an in-ground, with what I wanted to do ... we just couldn't afford it.  For what they wanted TO START, I can have an above ground pool, a deck around it (giving it an "inground" feel),  ..... AND .... new living room furniture.

But don't worry ... I'm not going for the furniture any time soon. 

I'm just sayin'.  Take a chill pill Big Daddy! 

So ... for those of you who took bets ...  the people who said Big Daddy would give in, buckle to the knees of ... Mrs. Big Daddy ... (HA!  I like that!) ...

YOU ARE RIGHT.

YYYAAAA ---- HHHHOOOOO!

What ever will I do with my beautiful, blue, Intex structure?

Sell it, of course, it's the perfect deal. 

Need a pool?

Perspective

Some days ... whether you're young or old.

Rich or poor.

Busy or bored.

Happy or sad ...

You just have to look at life like this:

And all is right with the world.

I tried it. 

It works. 

But I'll spare you the picture of me.  It's not pretty.  (Not that it ever is).

You're welcome.

Hope you have a great weekend.