An Iowa Mom

And The School Year Officially Begins ...

It wouldn't be right unless one of my children were sick and home from school, would it?  We all know that life around here is full of endless sick days and ... nights.

Which would be last night.  Several times.

With Emily.

I'll leave the details out ... but will tell you it involved a bucket.

So ... let the fun begin.  We've officially started a school year successfully, the way only my family can.

SICK.

I'm going to be optimistic and say that today is going to be full of accomplishments.  Since everyone else is in school, and Emily should be laying around sleeping all day ... AND I don't have to drive back and forth to the school 54 trillion times ... there is no excuse for me not getting anything done.

I mean ... I'm all caught up on "My So-Called Life" episodes and there are no other disks here for me to watch (unless the mailman comes through for me).  There are no excuses.  None at all.

Except laziness and we'll just beat that old thing down with my broom and get to my to do list.

Either that or some snuggle buggles with my little girl.

Advice From A Three Year Old

The other day ... just like EVERY day, I was sweeping the kitchen floor.

As the broom made it's way around the room, I wondered ... just like EVERY day, how in the world this many crumbs, paper, wrappers ... to sum it up, CRAP finds a home on my dated, linoleum floor.

EVERY single day I wonder this.

I have yet to find an answer.

But, that is beside the point.  As I was maneuvering the broom to catch all this "CRAP" and place it in a pile to dust-buster up, Molly took a seat on the stool by the counter.

"Wow ... you are a great sweeper!" she exclaimed, taking a bit of a graham cracker, which we would call her morning snack.

"No, not really." I answered, basically in a monotone voice because there is no way to get excited about sweeping.  Or cleaning anything, really.  At least in my world.

"Yes you are!" Molly insisted.

"NO! I'm not!" I rebutted loudly, for no other reason than because I like to fight with my children.

With one huge swoop of her hand, the graham crackers and all the crumbs that come with graham crackers made their way to the floor.  I stood there, amazed and stunned that she would do such a thing.  Pretty much positive my mouth was hanging open ... I looked at her.

She shrugged and hopped down off the stool.  As she was walking away, she said, "Well, practice makes perfect, right?"

I tried to hit her over the head with the broom as she scurried away ...

But of course, I missed.

So, Sunday Was My Birthday

Yup.  It was.   And I didn't tell you all before now on purpose.  You don't need to leave me comments saying Happy Day and all that. 

Well, if you want to you can.  But you don't need to. 

I'm fully aware that you all wish me nothing but the best ... because you all are so nice like that.

So, enough about you.  Let's get back to me.

I'm 37 freakin' years old now, for the love of God.  THIRTY SEVEN!

I understand that it's just a number. 

THIRTY SEVEN. 

But regardless of those two insanely ridiculous digits being put side by side and forming a THIRTY SEVEN, it does remind me to glance in the mirror and see all those lines forming on my face and the wrinkles in my forehead THAT WILL NOT GO AWAY. 

Some of the irritating crows feet will disappear when I push back the sides of my face, giving the illusion of a face lift ... but the ones in my forehead.

PERMANENT.

I've tried yanking the skin on my face in every direction possible. 

PERMANENT, I tell you.

I might as well get out a black sharpie and trace over them to make sure everyone can see ... that ...

I'm THIRTY SEVEN.

Okay ... seriously ... so when it's my birthday it's really no big deal.  We don't do anything special.  I get to sleep in while Big Daddy keeps the children quiet ... or as quiet as they are able to be kept. 

When I rise, the kiddos will sing Happy Birthday and jump around obnoxiously as if it were their own special day.  It always makes me smile.  I love that part.

Then it's normal.

And that's the way I like it.

But this birthday, on Sunday, wasn't normal ... and I don't have time to tell you about it right now, so you're going to have to wait to hear all about it.

Don't you hate me?  First the picture of my hair cut.  Now my birthday story.

What a bitch I am.

But not just a bitch.

A THIRTY SEVEN year old bitch.

There's a difference, ya know?

Alright ... FINE!

 

Okay ... here is a picture that Big Daddy just snapped of me.   We were out in the rain running errands so I've gotten all wet and then dried, and then all wet again ... AND, I forgot until I uploaded the picture that my hair was in a clip on top ... but at least I can show you that my hair isn't much different ... just a little shorter.

So there ya have it.

Very bad picture ... but I'm posting a photo like you told me to.

And you know ... it's my goal in life to make you all happy.  Right?

A Faithful Family - Through and Through

When it comes to football, whether it be professional, college, high school or the rec league ... it is very serious stuff in our household.   We stand true to our teams ... in good times and bad. 

We go.  We support.  We cheer.

Well, maybe I shouldn't use the the word "we" exactly ...

How about ...

THEY.

And by "they", I mean ...

They're there.  They're smiling.  They're happy.

And this is how things are looking in our neck of the woods.

Now, I'd call that loyal.

Well, either that or stupid.

Side Note:  The photo is fuzzy because anal Big Daddy doesn't want his phone to get wet ... so it's in a baggie.

The Hair Cut ...

was more of a trim.  When I arrived, prepared for anything, my stylist looked at me and said, "I love all your natural curl."

Let me tell you ... I hate that!  Everyone says it.  I cringe.  I hate, more like despise, the "natural curl" and wish I had straight hair so I didn't have to spend time straightening it.  Ya know, all three times a year I actually do that. 

But anyway because of this "natural curl" ... she decided that it would be best to leave my hair longer.

So we did.

A few dead ends were cut away and some layers to make me look a little less "haggy". 

The layers didn't work. 

Don't get me wrong ... they worked.  They're there.  But I still look "haggy" ... for lack of a better word.  And after looking at my photo from yesterday, if you have a BETTER word for the way I look ... let's just keep it to ourselves, m'kay?

I mean, I'm not exactly young, ya know?  Geez Louise.  (See, just saying "GEEZ LOUISE" dates me.)

And ... I've had four kids, remember?  (HA!  I love using that line.  Like it's a perfect excuse for ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that is wrong with me.)

Anyway, I know you all are waiting for another photo, as if you can't get enough of me, and I fully intended to share one with you today.  But you know my life, and so you won't be surprised when I tell you that I got up and styled my hair all pretty ... then took the kids to school ... and it rained. 

So, now I'm frizzed out.

And regardless of the fact that I'm starting to open up and share my "look" with you ... you're not seeing this <insert> me pointing to my head </insert>.

No way.

So, you'll have to wait.

I know you'll be checking back over and over, just dying to see another photo of me ... so I'll try to get one up soon ... because I'm all nice like that.

Me Me Me Me Me ... ME!

Guess where I'm going this morning?

Do you hate when I always ask questions?  Ooops, I did it again. 

Get Brittany out of your head now and pay attention to me.

ME!

It's MY blog.

You're here to read about ME, remember?

"Me" is my theme this morning because I'm doing something that I haven't done in a really really long time. 

Yup, for the first time in like three years.

Getting my hair cut. 

You can just imagine the dead ends and lack of style.

Yes, I know ... it's very sad.  My existence is rather pitiful as it usually revolves around these children that are running around me at this very second, clearly not listening to me as I ask them to stop.

Wanna know what?

There I go with the questions again ...

But, wanna know what?  I don't care.  Because this morning is all about ME!

I'll be back later ... when it's about everyone else again.

BUY  ... Maybe, just maybe ... I'll show you an "after" picture of my new "do".  I have no idea what she's going to do with my hair yet ... I told her I'm leaving it completely up to her.

Yikes.

Here is a before picture ... taken yesterday.

I know this blog is some times funny ... but not today .... so .... STOP LAUGHING.  You know how I feel about posting pictures of myself.  And if you don't ... well, I can sum it up rather simply ...

I HATE IT!