An Iowa Mom

A Love Hate Relationship

Yesterday afternoon, all four of the kids and I were hanging out in the living room ... counting the minutes until Big Daddy came home to relieve me from my motherly duties.  Why?  Long story.  It involves a dentist.  I'll share later.

Anyway, while I am on the couch moaning and groaning about how long it is taking Big Daddy to get home, Emily decided she wanted to go outside to hang up some Halloween decorations that she had just created.  I asked her to wait, as I was not up for frolicking about with a roll of tape hanging up her paper crafts that would be destroyed by the wind and rain within 12 hours.  That fun job would also be Big Daddy's ... if he'd EVER get home.

Well, Emily didn't like my request to wait ... and screamed, "I HATE YOU!"

After removing the dagger from my heart ... I decided I had better do something about this behavior.  Yelling at her caused my mouth to throb even worse, so I was forced to handle this in a kind and understanding way. 

I ignored her.

Simple enough.

It was a few minutes later that this conversation took place:

Emily:  "I want whatever I want for dinner! And I want it NOW!"

Drew:  "You have to wait for Dad to come home and you'll get whatever he makes us!"

Emily: "Oooohhhh Nooooo ... Dad is making dinner?"

She flops on the floor like a fish out of water and continues ...

Emily:  "Why can't Mom make dinner?"

This is where I decide to chime in:  "You hate me, why would I make you dinner?"  (Ya know, because I'm such a mature mom)

Always having an answer for everything ...

Emily:  "Well ... just because I hate YOU doesn't mean you can't do things for ME!"

Lord Help Me.

Ya see ... Emily and I have a love hate relationship.  I am supposed to love her ... while she hates me.  Isn't she darling? 

Do We Have A Winner?

Wow ... a lot of you responded to this little somethin' something' of a hillbilly contest?  I mean, really, who holds a contest asking you to guess when her third born will come down with the yuckies?

Me Me Me Me Me Me.  (That's me, jumping up and down in the corner wanting you to see me, but not wanting to get noticed.)

Ahem - I just wanted to update you all ... THERE IS STILL TIME.  Emily is still healthy as an ox.  Is that a "saying".  I don't know if it is ... or if I just like it.  And this IS my blog, even if I'm not here as often as I used to be.

So ... I'm still keeping score and will let you know when Little Miss Emily ruins my night, stumbling into my room boo-hooing that her head hurts and that she wishes she were dead ... and that there is nothing more that she would like than for me to lay with her ... and spread her germs ... into my body ... so that I can be just as miserable as she.

Stay tuned.  It's bound to happen.

Soon.

(And if you haven't voted ... you still have the chance.)

Come on ... this awesome pillow is up for grabs!  Make it YOURS!

40.90909090%

Emily just informed me that 9 out of the 22 kids in her kindergarten class ... were out of school with the sickie yickies today!

YIKES! 

According to my math ... that is 41% of the children in the class are ill!

Okay.  Fine.  Actually it's 40.90909090%, but I rounded it up to 41%.  Geez.  Ya'll are always so technical.

Anyway ...

Does anyone want to take bets on how long it is before Emily comes down with the crud?

Seriously - leave me a comment below with date you think will be her first absence from school ... and you will win a prize.

A COOL PRIZE! 

Handmade.

By Me.

A Pillow.

Like this:

But in the colors of your choice.

And that makes for a really fun Christmas present.

If you don't think the pillow is cool ... when then FINE!  Then don't leave a stinkin' comment.  Okay?

But remember ... I'll know who loves me ... and who doesn't.

Just sayin'.

So ... when will it be?  When will Emily join the other nine of her classmates on the ABSENTEE list?

The Story Of My Life Lately ...

Posts have been scarce again, but really, it's very temporary.  And I mean it, NO LIES this time!

Anyway - this was sent to me the other day and I totally had to share, as it tells the story of my life lately ... and I'm sure it will sum up some of yours as well.

Even when life sucks ... you still deserve to smile.  Says ME!

It All Makes Sense Now

Yesterday afternoon I was driving Drew to football practice.  I decided to take the girls with me, because Jake has a little girlfriend now and I couldn't trust he'd look away from his Google Chat long enough to even acknowledge that Emily and Molly were left in his care.  See how responsible I am?

Anyway, we were moseying along and began talking about birthdays and times that the kids were born and so forth.  I don't really know how the conversation started, and I don't really care.  I was just happy that it wasn't the same ol' same ol' ... ya know ... me screaming at them the whole time the car was in drive. 

So ... here we are, behaving like a functional family, talking about stuff.  Drew mentions that he was born at 3:18pm and he believes that 3:18pm is the absolute BEST time to be born. 

Thinking back to that day in August of 2000, I smiled.  "Drew, man, that was the HOTTEST day!  I will never forget it."

Drew replied, "It was the hottest day?"

I assured him it was as I glanced in my rear view mirror.

After a few seconds passed he continued, "No wonder I'm so good lookin'.  It all makes sense now!"

With everything this family deals with, I'm glad we don't have to worry about adding self esteem issues to the list.

Who Does That?

If there is one thing I can say about my girls ... it's that they like their room neat and orderly.  I mean really, what four and five year olds do you know that make sure everything is in it's place?  I told you my kids were a little off their rockers.  Don't let them fool you though ... even though THEIR room must be "just so", they have no problem at all destroying every other inch of this house.

Anyway, each morning when they get up, they make their bed.  And do a nice job at it, I must say.  But as you glance at Emily's pillow you'll notice something odd ...

Here take a closer look ...

She places a photo of HERSELF on her pillow.  Who in the world would do that?

Besides Emily.

Oh, and did you notice that she STILL wears an eye mask?  If she is like this at five, what will I be dealing with when she's 15?

I can't even think about it.

This Sums It Up ... Using No Words At All!

If I had to describe Drew ... I could do it using no words at all.  I would just hold up this picture.

There are no words to describe him better than those.