An Iowa Mom

The Best Of Both Worlds

Remember on Friday when I was kinda sorta talking whining about how the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?  Or tracks?  Or whatever the hell you want to call it. Ya know ... when you feel there is always something better out there than what you have?

Well ... I can't complain any longer. 
 

Hot Damn!

These are gonna hit the spot.  Dipped in a little ranch.  Make the tongue a little numb.  But, that's okay ... because I have one of these too ... 

Yeeah ... I know ... nothin' but the best for me!

Don't you just wish you could punch me? 

Please don't.  I wouldn't recommend it ... you'll just break your computer screen ... and in the end, it won't hurt me at all.  And then you'll be even more PO'ed.

Plus, look at the bright side, I AM still without the cheese fries and baby sitter.

Just sayin'.

Disclosure:  I am perfectly aware that I have no talent and CAN NOT do the food in the picture any justice.  Until someone wants to show off their generousness (is that a word?) and send me to photography class ... then just shut up and deal with it.  You can save your time and mark emailing me to tell me all about it off your list.  You're welcome!  So glad I could save you some time. 

Does Life Get Any Better?

So ... here we are. 

Friday night. 

And lookie what I have ...

That's right.  A yummy Turkey, that's been roasting to perfection in my oven all afternoon.  That's our dinner tonight.  Turkey, stuffing, green beans, cranberries, rolls, homemade gravy ... it all smells heavenly.  Just waiting a few minutes for the bread to reach the perfect temperature so that the butter melts into it just right.

Yup ... dinner, dessert, some movie time with the kiddos ... does anything top this?  Friday Family Night.

Well, I guess ... a beer ... some hot wings ... a pile of cheese fries ... and a babysitter would give my turkey (and my kids) a run for their money, huh?

Sigh.

Have a great weekend everyone!

It's Important To Always Follow Protocol

Doesn't everyone have little cutsie tootsie rituals they share with their children?  The tiniest of things that are repeated every single day, that they will likely remember forever.  It is my hope that my children remember the sweet and kind words that we share, rather than the loud demands and criticism that often is spewed from my mouth before I realize it's been released.

One of our rituals is something that Jake and I have done for years and years.  It's kind of silly, but it's OURS, and that makes it special to me.  You'll hear the following words spoken from our mouths every single morning and every single night ... and quite often a few times in between:

Me:  I love you.

Jake:  I love you more!

Me:  Impossible!!

Jake:  Possible.

See, I told you kinda silly ... but we've just ALWAYS done that.  And I hope we always will.

There is a similar routine that Molly and I share.  It was created when she was very into learning how to count.  She'd say, "I love you 100!"  And that meant A LOT!  I'd say I love her 101.  She'd continue so her number was ALWAYS higher than mine, until we'd just give up laughing.

Then, yesterday ... she was home from school ill.  We were snuggled up on the couch watching TV.   I leaned down and kissed her forehead ...

Me:  I love you Molly girl.  So much.

Molly:  Well ... I love you 180.

Me:  I love you 181.

Molly:  Then I guess you love me more than I love you.

With that she broke our gaze and focused back on Yo Gabba Gabba. 

She is four people.  Four years old.  I understand that.  But her words pinged my heart a little.  We all want our kids to love us unconditionally, just as we love them.  We like to hear the words that they love us more than anything else in the world.   Maybe it reassures us of their love after we spend the morning screaming and yelling at them to do the right thing and to make good decisions.  Or maybe it's just me who does that.  Hhhmmmm.  That is a possibility.

But ... that is not the case with Molly anymore.  She broke the tradition.  Our ritual has been damaged. 

So what did I do?  How did I handle the situation?  With the same maturity I always use!

I turned the channel to Ellen.  I'd had enough of HER shows. 

Hey ... it's important that I stay consistent with my parenting tactics. 

We'll call it ... tradition!

Pure Innocence. Or At Least That's What I'm Calling It.

There are so many ways that a child's innocence shines through for the world to see.  Many times, reminders of their unknowings comes in the form sweetness.  Quiet moments.  Curious questions about life, death and everything in between.

And then you have MY children.  The ones who blurt inappropriate things out without knowing.  And when my mouth drops open in disbelief, I wonder why?  Why it still surprises me?  You'd think I'd come to expect it by now.

It was Emily that most recently made me scratch my head and question my parenting skills.  My little six year old ... informed me the other night that she is very happy with who she is.

Emily:  I am SOOO glad that I'm not a boy. 

Me:  Why?

Emily:  Because I think picking your nose is really gross.  AND ... I would never EVER want to have to pee out of one of those wiener things.

Alrighty then.  Can't say I disagree.

Creating A Dynasty

Jake has recently taken a liking to chess.  Yes, chess.  As in bishops and knights and rooks and pawns and all that stuff.  I explain like that because I don't have a freakin' clue about any of it.  I will admit, when he first became interested, he asked me to learn.  Ya know ... so we'd have another game we could play together.  I was excited.  And I tried.  As a matter of fact, I'm still trying ... but I continue to hear the word "Checkmate" out of his mouth a mere 7 seconds after the game has begun, pretty much each.and.every.single.time we sit down to play.  So I have pretty much given up.  And when Drew is watching us play ... and finds it necessary to remind me that "giving up is NOT an option in our house", I reminded him that I am the mother and I can do whatever the hell I want to do. 

Just sayin'. 

I didn't question when Jake had a sudden interest in this game, that in my opinion feel is way too confusing for the human mind.  The reason?  Well, because he is pre-pubescent.  Duh.  He decided to join the chess club with his girlfriend, back when he had one, because it was after school ... and that meant MORE time together.  From my experience, spending more time with a girl you like, takes priority over anything else in the world when you're a boy Jake's age.  Now please, keep in mind that I'm not an expert.  I don't know this FOR SURE ... because I've never been a boy Jake's age ...  come to think of it, I've never been a boy of any age, but I'm guessing that if I was ... that is how it would be.  I've always been a pretty good guesser ... so I'd take my word for it.

Anyway, Jake has embraced this game wholeheartedly and has wanted to be a part of both tournaments that have taken place since he started on this chess journey.  One was back in January and he had a BLAST.  I know what you're thinking ... how can someone have the time of his life spending the day with a bunch of other kids trying to capture their king?  I don't understand it either ... but I witnessed it first hand ... and he had a lot of fun.  For being just his first tournament, he did quite well.  His school team finished third and he placed third on his team.  The kid even brought home a trophy.  Really.  I kid you not.

This past Saturday was the Elementary State Tournament in Des Moines.  He wanted to participate, so we all packed up and drove to Des Moines on Saturday morning.  We watched from afar as he played his first four rounds.  To be completely honest, the majority of the entertainment ... was watching Big Daddy, as he was totally unimpressed with the excitement level of a chess tournament.  However, in the fifth round that all changed when Jake's coach said to us, "I hate to tell you this but ... if Jake wins this match our school gets third place.  If he loses, we don't!"

Apparently ANY type of competition is right up Big Daddy's alley ... because from that moment on, the vein across his temple was bulging as he intently watched Jake move his pieces around the checkered board ... have absolutely NO CLUE what was going on.  He was taking deep breaths and pacing back and forth ... as if Jake's life depended on this win. 

Cracked me up.

Jake won the round.  And his school finished 3rd in the state tournament, with Jake finishing 2nd on his team.  I can not express to you how proud of himself he is.  And how proud of him we are ... as that was only his second tournament ever. 

The next tournament is Saturday and not only is Jake registered to take part ... so is Drew.  HA!  Is it possible to have a dynasty of chess players in the family ... when Mom and Dad have no idea how to even play the game?

We'll see.

My Kinda Valentine

So, yesterday was the day of ... "LOVE". 

All day I found my eyes reading sweet messages all over the Internets sharing what the generous husbands and angelic children said to the women who make their lives ... livable.  Words of love and admiration.  Sentiments of devotion and affection.  Thoughts of appreciation and gratitude.  I think I broke the world record for number of times a person can roll their eyes during a single session on the World Wide Web.

And that was before I puked in my mouth a little.

Yup.  Really.

So ... would you like the "in a nutshell" version of the first 30 minutes of my Valentine Morning?  Too bad.  You're getting it anyway ... because you're here ... still reading this ... so I KNOW you want to know ...

I woke up and screamed at the children because they continually find it absolutely impossible to keep their voices to reasonable decibel ... ya know, a degree that would be suitable for 6:30 on a Sunday morning ... VALENTINE morning, at that..  Just sayin'. 

After remembering that we've been through this a quadrillion times and  they'll NEVER learn, they were released from their bedrooms and scattered to invade every inch of the house.  It was then that Big Daddy and I exchanged gifts.  It was amazing.  A true testament that we are made for each other.  We got each other the.exact.same.thing ...

Nothing.

And then Molly found her way into the room and was laying next to me in bed.  I decided to embrace the moment and asked her, "Molly Girl?  Will you be my Valentine today?"

Her answer:  "Only if you go to Casey's and get me donuts for breakfast.  Then I will be your Valentine."

Yeah.

And because I'm such a pushover ... (really, calling me a pushover is very accurate, but it has NOTHING to do with the fact I love my children {ahem}), I rolled out of bed and went downstairs to sweet-talk Big Daddy into going to Casey's with me ... to get "my Valentine" a big sprinkled donut for breakfast. 

On the way to store which held the goods ... he looked over and placed one hand on my face.  I looked into his eyes ... he looked into mine.   My Big Daddy.  My True Valentine.  I almost got feeling a little sappy ... and then he opened his mouth to speak ...  "You actually look really good with jowls!"

Jowls. 

Jowls?

As in 'saddlebags' for the face?

That IS what he said.

I wish I were kidding.

I'm not.

Yeah ... MY Valentine. 

And I wouldn't want any other.

Hope you all had a wonderful day with the ones you love.

I did.


 

The Important Stuff

Why does it seem like the majority of my blog posts are just me complaining when I'm sick?  Or when someone in my house is suffering from some ailment?  Because, in all seriousness, we've all been healthy for quite some time.

Hhhmmm, putting two and two together, maybe that is why I haven't been blogging as much.  DUH!  I'm such a dope.

Anyway, we WERE all healthy ... until a couple days ago.

And it's me who came down with the crud.  The aches & pains coupled with the fever & chills. Many times people who have when I have right now describe it as 'feeling like they've been run over by a truck'.  However, at this point ... I wish I WAS RUN OVER BY A TRUCK and put out of my misery. 

Why?

Because, of course, I get sick when all the Valentine boxes need to be created.  And when all the little cards of sweet sentiments have to be colored and cut out.  Not to forget that it's when those same cards need to be addressed and names need to be signed to them all.  Treats need to be made.  Party supplies need to be purchased and delivered.  You get my point.  Right?  Just thank the Lord that only three of my children had to go through this routine ... Jake being in the 6th grade has graduated up from parties and having any fun at school.

I think when God created mothers, he should have injected us with some special serum that made us immune to all illness until our children have at least reached the middle school years.  Just sayin'.

One of my MANY arguments to Big Daddy regarding staying home even though all four kiddos are in school every day, all day ... is that I wanted to be able to be at school for all their parties.  To volunteer to help out.  To take pictures.  To share in all their special times.  To just be there.

The Valentine parties are today.

And here I sit.  Unable to go because my fever is higher than 100.  And it might be a bit traumatic for all those elementary kiddos to witness my head EXPLODING from all the noise they manage to generate after they've consumed a ridiculous amount of sugar.  Also, I really like my kid's teachers and wouldn't want them have to clean up that gruesome mess ... especially on a Friday.  Ya know, I'm kind like that.

At least I have Molly home with me today.  I made her a "cold lunch" when I was packing the others this morning, since she really enjoys eating out of her lunch box.  When she sat down with it I decided to take her picture, since I wasn't taking any at the Valentine parties that I should be at.

When I uploaded the photo ... she looked at the computer and said, "Aaawww, I'm sooo cute!  But take another one because I can smile so much better than that."

 Made me smile when I didn't feel like smiling.

It's the small stuff, isn't it?  I'm glad I was here to witness it.