It was scribbled on our family calendar last Thursday that we were due to meet with Drew's teacher to discuss how he's been progressing at school this trimester. I was feeling pretty confident that he was doing well, so I was not the least bit worried going into the school.
Drew's conference was the first one of the afternoon. There was no need for him to catch the bus home, therefore he was waiting for me outside his classroom door when I arrived. Immediately I took note of his sluggish disposition. My squinted eyes and the crinkle, <ahem>emphasizing the already too deep wrinkles</ahem>, in my forehead must have given him the clue that I wanted him to explain immediately.
And he did.
"I'm in trouble!!" he blurted.
My heart sank. Good grief. WHAT NOW????
We quietly discussed the episode that took place between another student and himself just a few minutes earlier. He informed me that it was not his own teacher that had taken care of the situation and that his teacher did not know yet what had happened. So ... he had no idea what kind of trouble he was actually in. And the suspense was killing him. I tipped him off that it would probably be better to be up front and tell his teacher about the incident. Just get it off his chest, accept his punishment ... and move on.
We walk into the classroom and I'm really praying that all goes well. Unable to push what his teacher must think of us ... this seemingly dysfunctional family of ours ... due to what she would always carry in her mind as her first impression of Drew. Which is unforgettable. At least to me it is.
I never shared this story that happened the first week of school ... but I will now. Very quickly. Just so you'll have the background needed to fully appreciate the remainder of this post ...
Way back in August, Big Daddy and I met Drew for lunch in honor of his birthday. As we were watching our newly crowned nine year old, scarf down his McDonald's cheeseburger, his teacher made her way over to us with a smile. "The funniest thing happened the other day with Drew. Remind me to share the story with you!" she said, and then she tried to walk away.
Now ... you have been reading me long enough to know that hearing "funny story" and "Drew" in the same sentence ... causes my heart to race, palms to sweat, and tears to start forming in my eyes. And it's not because I'm laughing so hard at his "funniness". I insisted she tell me RIGHT THEN ... and I was already dying inside from embarrassment before she even began to speak.
"Well ... " she started, beginning to giggle, "The other day at lunch, Drew had raised his hand. Before I could get to him, he called out rather loudly 'Why do I have this ~ woman thing ~ in my lunch bag?' and he was waving a tampon around in the air!"
Oh My God. I didn't hear anything else she said. I couldn't believe it. Wow! What a great first impression we've made. Again. You'd think I'd get used to this stuff. Really. You would.
So ... now that you know THAT story ... you can continue reading THIS one ...
Even though we have had several exchanges with Drew's teacher since then, you'll understand that I still just want to have a nice, uneventful conference. Is that too much to ask?
And then Drew manages to get himself into trouble ... moments before our meeting.
Perfect.
Of course, this has to take place when I have the honor of being present for his confession. I'm such a lucky duck, aren't I? Don't you wish you were me?
Back to the classroom. Getting right to the point, Drew starts, "I got in trouble. This kid cussed at me, so I called him a 'gay-wad'.
(Is gay wad one word or two?) <Shrug>
This didn't seem to surprise Drew's teacher in the slightest, and I began to feel relieved. Obviously this is not her first rodeo dealing with this kind of thing.
The two of them quickly discussed how he could have handled the situation differently ... without resorting to name calling. He had the right answers, said the right things ... situation over.
On with the conference ... Whew! <Exhale>
And then Drew spoke again. Why does he always feel the need to talk? Why? Why does he do that?
"Ya know, my mom and I watch this show..." he began. "It's really funny. It's called Ellen. And she really IS gay!!"
Nice.
There is always a good time and place for everything ... and Drew never seems to pick either the right time. Or the right place.
Ever.
As a parent, I felt so small ... as if I actually belonged in the miniature chair I was sitting in. This is not exactly what I wanted to discuss at his 4th grade conference. I guess he was just showing off what he learned when he was home sick the two days before.
Continuing education at home?
Yes, we are!
