An Iowa Mom

A Compliment? Really?

While some might think I TRY to torment and make the lives of my children miserable, there ARE times when my little ones just make it down right impossible not to.

Today was one of those days.  Molly wanted to play outside.  And while that was fine with me, I just asked that she stay in our driveway where I could see and hear her.  Reasonable enough, don't you think?

Obviously NOT ... because when I peeked out to check on my little girl ... she was not in the driveway.  

I spotted Miss Molly over at the neighbor's house.  So, I calmly called her home.  Sat her down.  Explained the rules and informed her that if she couldn't follow those rules then she could not be outside right at that time, since I was busy ... DOING HER STINKIN' LAUNDRY!  Like usual.  Ahem.

Not wanting to be stuck, in what I'm thinking they view as a house of hell, she assured me that she understood and would follow the rules to a "T".  And I believed her.  So, I released her again from this dungeon that we call their 'home'.

Approximately 20 seconds later (not kidding), I peek my head out the door to see what she's found to occupy herself ... and she's ... she's ... she's ... GONE!

Good grief!  I could hardly believe it. 

Taking a deep breath, I try to remind myself not to scream at her like an insane wild woman.  After all, there ARE other people outside ... actually playing with their kids.

I find her on her bike down on the corner.  It's not exactly far.  But, it's not our driveway either.  So I do what I have to do. 

Let me tell you ... reeling her in was not easy, but I managed to do so once I set my beloved fountain pop down on the bumper of my suburban.  I know!  Who knew the things one could accomplish when using TWO hands!!??  Seriously.  It's simply amazing. 

Just sayin'.

Anyway ... once back inside.  I told her, rather sternly, that she was NOT going back outside until I could join her.  And, in her usual fashion, as only Molly can pull off, she fell to the floor ... in complete and utter hysterics.

Molly:  MOM!!!!  I so don't like you right now.  Not one bit.

Me:  I'm sorry to hear that.

Molly:  Mom!  Stop. I mean it.  You are super dooper really THE BEST at making me sad and ruining my life ...  and I hate that!

Me:  Please don't talk like that.  It's not nice!

Molly:  What?  Why are you being soooooo mean to me?  I'm trying to give you a compliment!!!

Me:  A compliment?

Molly:  Um, yeah!!  Duh??  A compliment!  That means that I'm telling you what you're good at ... and it is supposed make you feel happy.

Really?  WOW!  So that is what a 5 year old's version of a compliment is?  Who knew?

I've Fallen. But Don't Worry ... I'm Sure I'll Get Up!

Well, hello strangers!  Just a quick update to keep all of my most favorite people in the world up to speed on the events happening here in 'Slackerville'.

Now, in my own defense ... I've been quite busy! 

Really.

I know, that's hard to wrap your head around, but it's true.  Between field trips, track and field days, class picnics, soccer games and baseball games ... I haven't been around much.  But please be assured that I'm not falling into one of my 'slumps' like I've done so many times before.  I've just decided to finally try my hand at this parenting thing ...

So far?

It's kickin' my ass.

But just my luck ... I'll survive!

Are You In Favor Of Child Labor?

I would like to say that my children have gotten lazy.  However, in all fairness to them ... it's probably ME who has dropped the ball and become a slacker of sorts.  It's not everyday I admit my mistakes and actually take the blame for something, so you are witnessing something historic here.

WAIT ...

What the hell am I doing?  It's not MY fault!  It's Big Daddy's fault.  Yeah.  Let's blame him!  Oh, I feel so much better now.

Wondering what I'm talking about? 

My kids don't do crap around here and I've finally reached the end of my rope.  That's right ... hit the wall.  Life as my children know it ... is OVER!  Over, I tell you!!!  While I've become lazy in making them help out around here ... it's caused me to have to take it all on myself.  YES - Big Daddy helps out.  A lot.  But that is beside the point.  We are not servents to our children.  Anymore.

I wrote about it over at IowaMoms.com.  Please go check it out.  I'd really like to know where you all stand on the issue ... as I think parents are all over the board when it comes to kids and chores.

A Mother's Day Note From Her Daughter

You can click the note above to make it large enough to read.

Does it still count that I'm her FAVERET mom ... since I'm her ONLY mom? 

Just wondering.

Google Friend Connect Thing-A-Ma-Jig

If you haven't noticed, which I'm sure you obviously have since I just know that each and every single one of you go over my blog with a fine toothed comb every time you visit.  Which I'm sure is everyday.  Ya know, just to see if there is anything new.  Right?

RIGHT?

That's what I thought.

Well ... I have been seeing those Google Friend Connect thing on a ton of blogs ... and not wanting to be left out, I added one to my blog too!  Finally.  After like two years of it being on my list of things to do. 

I know, I know ... you all wish you could be as "on it" as I am.  My advice to you is ... just stick with it.  Don't ever give up.  In time and with some practice, you can be as cool as me.  Really.  You can.  I'm sure of it.

Anyway, if you look over there to your right, and maybe scroll up or down or something ... you will see it in the sidebar.  I originally had it up at the top by the twitter and facebook link, to make it easy as possible for you, but BlogHer squawked at me that their ads weren't showing high enough with it up there.  So I had to move it down below their ads.  Amazing what someone will do to earn $2.39 a month, huh? 

Once you find it, you'll also see that it's obvious I am the only one who likes me. Does that make me conceited?  I don't know, but I'm the only follower or member or whatever they call it, so it is what it is.

Here is the deal ... I want to fake everyone out who stumbles across this place and make it look like I have tons of friends.  Like SO MANY people out there that love and adore me.  And that's where you come in ... and I know I can count on you.

You're smart.  I know you know what to do.  In case you are having a rough day, it means you need to follow me on the Google thing over there.  In my sidebar.

So do it!  I fully intend to have at least 3 followers by the end of the weekend. 

And if you don't ... I'm going to reach through the screen and give you a big ol' wet willy.

Don't test me.

;)

A Present. Just For Me.

I don't know about everyone and everywhere else, but the pollen count has been off the charts here in Iowa lately.  My kids have been suffering from runny noses and scratchy throats for quite a while now.  To say we should have bought stock in Kleenex is quite an understatement.  Yeah, it's that bad.

However, my sweet Miss Emily refuses to let those pesky allergies fog her mind.  Those creative juices of hers continue to flow.  

Really.

I mean, just the other day she came to me and handed me a crumpled up tissue, with a smile.  It was one of the many that have been plucked from the so-called 'designer box' that sits pretty atop of our commode.  A little grossed out, I may or may not have snarled at her a bit, before opening the cabinet door to toss it into the trash can.

"NO!" Emily screamed, in a horrified attempt to stop me.  "Don't throw it away!  It's for you!"

"A used kleenex?" I questioned, realizing she's obviously lost her mind.

"MOM!" she exclaimed, her feelings appearing to be a little hurt.  "It's not garbage. It's a snot filled tissue flower!"

"Aaaahhh, I see ... thank you."  I tried to smile.

Ya know, I don't want to appear ungrateful or anything, but I sure hope that's not my Mother's Day gift.

Just sayin'.

An Inside Peek At My Inner Most Strangeness

So.  

All people have weird things about them that not many people would know about, right?

Say yes.

Well, one of my most favorite things to eat is probably a little 'out there', but dang it, it's just so darned good. 

To me.

The following is a photo of something I'd be elated to eat for dinner.  Or lunch.  Or even breakfast.  And I do indulge myself. 

Quite often.

Probably too often.

While I'd like to tell you that is a bowl of some sort of soup ... it is not. 

It's gravy.  Turkey gravy.  Just straight up.  With as many rolls that I can dip into it and consume before I feel like I will pop.  Literally.  I don't really have a name for this meal ... so I just call it ... HEAVEN.

Now ... I showed you mine, so you show me yours.  What do you like to eat that most people might gag a little thinking about?

Or just tell me ... that will work too.  I want you to make me feel a little less freakish ... if that's possible.