An Iowa Mom

Like Wildfire, I Tell You

While I would like to tell you that the reason I didn't blog the past few days is because Ty and the rest of the ABC Extreme Makeover crew showed up at my house ... screaming through their megaphones that I have been chosen as their next transformation.  And I forgot to grab my computer before they bulldozed my house ... wait, forget my computer ... yeah, that would never happen.

I can't.  As that is not the reason at all.

Not even close. 

Nothing even remotely that exciting.

Ever since Monday we've had an illness sweep through this house like wildfire.  It started with:

Here we are on Thursday, and those two above are STILL sick and we've added ...

and

and ME.  Only I'm not showing you a picture of that.  You think I look scary when I'm healthy ... you should see me now.

So, anyway, I just wanted you all to know that I'm still alive ... barely. 

I just knew you all were wondering and had noticed that I hadn't been around.  (laughing to myself)  And if you didn't notice ... well pretend that you did, okay?

Loved all your questions and I promise I will get to answering those as soon as I can stay in an upward position for longer than 7 minutes at a time.

My Big Big Daddy

We were sitting at Applebee's, eating a meal we shouldn't have been, when Big Daddy said, "I really don't like it when you call me Big Daddy on your blog.  Why don't you just call me fat ass, it would work just as well?"

Calling him "fat ass" in a sugar coated kind of way was never my intention.   The title of Big Daddy came from Molly, actually.  One afternoon the hum of the garage door going up caught Molly's attention and although she was sitting in the living room chair with a book, she was eyeing the door waiting for her Dad to come through it.  Retrieving the mail from the mailbox is the highlight of Big Daddy's day, so it was a minute or two before he would enter the house.

But, when he did ... his life and name changed forever ... Molly's eyes lit up when she saw him.  She through her book to the side.  Jumped out of the chair.  Ran towards her father with her arms spread wide open ... calling out ...

"MY DADDY!  MY BIG BIG DADDY!"

She flung herself into his arms, happy as clam.  I found it absolutely hilarious, therefore, naming him Big Daddy for all the rest of eternity.

It's a term of endearment.  And he hates it.  And that's just too damn bad!

Love you BIG DADDY!

Okay ... You Can Leave Now!

Ya know, I'm starting to freak out a bit.  Not because my to do list has seemed to quadruple in size, even though that is cause for concern, but because our house has been doomed with illness since the middle of September.  It's November, people!!  I'm getting a little tired of it. 

Okay ... A LOT tired of it.  It's down right starting to piss me off.  These little germs can go away already!  The party is over at our house ... time to move on.

The good thing ... I'm fine!  Not even a sniffle.  I can't believe I just wrote that, tomorrow I'll have full blown double pneumonia.  You think I'm kidding?  Watch and see my friends.

The two sickies now are Molly and Big Daddy.  With different things of course.

Molly has had that irritating cough, the one that only comes on at night, for about 2 weeks.  Every single time I've decided I've had enough of being awakened in the middle of my dream state by the little hacker, and she'd be visiting Dr. Rick the next day ... the cough would subside.  I don't know how it happened, the little booger would hide under her pillow or something until I fell back into a deep sleep ... then it would emerge and I swear I could hear it giggling ... just taunting me.

I started to feel guilty as the days whizzed by, and decided I'd be turned into DHS for child neglect if I didn't get her to the doctor's office to be treated for this bronchitis that she HAD TO HAVE because she sounded horrible.

Yesterday was the day ... Big Daddy chaperoned little Miss Molly to see the doctor.  What?  I am not sick, why would I want to go??  Since Big Daddy was already ill himself, I figured it would do no harm to have him breath in all those nasty germs that were having a hay day and causing a fog in the air in the waiting area.  I'm always thinking, aren't I?

Molly - well, no bronchitis ... she's being treated for a sinus infection.  This baffled me as her nose hasn't run yet this season ... but guess what?  It started yesterday after she returned from the doctor.  So she gets to chug the tasty, thick, pink medicine twice a day and I get to hear the other 3 children cry that it isn't fair that Molly gets the yummy medicine and they don't. 

Remember .... I'M THE MEANEST MOTHER EVER!!!

As for Big Daddy ... he's been doing shots since Saturday night.  I'm sure he'll be better in no time.

I've Been Replaced For A Newer Model ...

NO ... I don't mean that Big Daddy is leaving me for a nice, young, chipper, perky ... whipper snapper.  Though he's been known to say that he wants to die jumping out of the bedroom window of a 25 year old, with her husband chasing him.  I know, such goals in life ... and he's all mine.

What I meant was ... several years ago, when our family talked about traveling to Indiana to a Purdue football game (Big Daddy is a complete fanatic of Purdue), it would look something like this:

Last weekend Purdue played Iowa ... at Purdue ... so another fun filled football weekend at Purdue was planned and it looked like this:

I would love to tell you about it ...

BUT I WASN'T THERE.

I wasn't even asked to be there.  The least they could have done was ask me so I could decline.  Nope, not even close.  I was left alone here to act as referee to the sister slapping, girly squealing, hair pulling, sibling squawking cat fights that took place every 10.54 seconds.

And all I got when they returned was a memory card full of photos, showing me what a great time they had.  Stories of caffeinated pop, cookies, milkshakes, hot dogs, and how they've bonded.  How they are the manhood of our household now and nothing can come between them.

NO FAIR!

The girls and I discovered something about our relationship too.  That we are not compatible, we irritate the living snot out of one another, two of us love bagel bites and the third can not stand them ... and two of us can watch Cinderella 5 times in a 24 hour period in surround sound and the third can only tolerate it while pulling clumps of hair out of her head while rocking back and forth singing to herself.

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Today on Mom's Turn:  GIMME A BREAK!!

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Would You Like A Little Ice Cream?

Last night, after we tucked in the girls, read them a story, kissed their sweet little cheeks and threatened them with their life if they got out of their beds ... Big Daddy and I were getting ready to settle in for a movie.  I strolled to the kitchen and pulled out the ice cream and offered to dish some out for the birthday boy since I was getting myself a bowl.

Big Daddy declined and I proceeded to get my dinner, I mean, little treat.  Snuggled into my chair, computer on my lap, ice cream on the side table next to me ... hubby sits down on the couch ... with ice cream.

Me:  I asked if you wanted me to get you some ice cream.
Him:  I didn't want a whole bowl.

Oh ... okay!

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Today On Mom's Turn:  Their Freedom Is A Farce

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My Big Daddy!!

Today is another special day here at our house.  It's hubby's birthday today and man, he's old.  Well, not really OLD, but older than me ... so I have the right to say he's ancient.  Right?  It's not like I risk him getting me back or anything ... I'll never catch up to him.  Ever.  Not possible.  Sorry babe, just a fact.

Anyway, I have a question?  Why do all men ask for the same thing on their birthday?    And ... it's not a cake!!

Happy Birthday Love Chop!

Wordless Wednesday: Nothing Runs Like A Deere